


Flushed: An (Almost) Tragedy in Several Parts

by imawarlock



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Pining, Rimming, like really gay, really gay stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-10-13 08:40:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 36,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10510242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imawarlock/pseuds/imawarlock
Summary: Levi was just so captivating to Erwin for some reason, as everything about him — including his voice, which sounded as sweet as honey to Erwin’s ears whenever he spoke, and his gaze, always alluring when Levi would glance up at him out from underneath dark lashes in a way that caused his heart to race — all combined into something that Erwin, left smiling more that night than he had in an entire week, wanted as much of as he could get.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> and in the following moments, erwin was the gayest man alive.

In Erwin’s opinion, the date was going well. 

The man he’d asked out — an ER nurse named  _ Levi Ackerman _ , who inexplicably made Erwin’s heart race like he’d just run a marathon — seemed to be having a decent time at least, although it was hard to tell past his outwardly unimpressed demeanor. It manifested itself in an oftentimes blank face and crossed arms, Erwin had discovered, but it wasn’t that he was surly or rude or anything like that. He was just steady and self-possessed, apparently, almost dauntingly so, but luckily for him, there  _ were  _ signs that he was enjoying himself, small ones that Erwin picked up on and that made him wonder if Levi’s poker-faced act was just that: an act. 

It was the way in which he found Levi watching him sometimes when he thought he wasn’t paying attention, how he averted his eyes quickly so as not to get caught when Erwin would glance up at him. Afterward, there would be the slightest hint of red at the tips of his ears, and a tight frown would appear on his face as his gaze unfocused for a short moment in thought. If he stared he could almost imagine Levi chiding himself for slipping up, but even if he didn’t, it was the subtle yet obvious change in his body language as the night went on that Erwin  _ really  _ started to notice. 

At the beginning of the date, it had been a bit tense and guarded. Now, however, after an hour and a half at dinner he seemed more relaxed, more open in the way that he angled himself toward Erwin or leaned across the table to listen to him talk. He spoke candidly too and more than he ever had to him before, and although it wasn’t much, Erwin thought, it made him uncharacteristically nervous and giddy, as while some men might have found Levi’s nature off-putting, once he realized that it might be just a front then...well, he couldn’t help but think of getting Levi to openly enjoy himself as a challenge.

Of course, more importantly than that, he  _ did  _ like Levi too, which helped. They’d met at a coffee shop Erwin started frequenting and had first spoken when the barista mixed their drinks up. He’d found him charming, but he had already noticed him before that. How could he not? He was gorgeous in his mind, breathtakingly beautiful with striking dark locks, sharp grey eyes, and lips that Erwin could not describe in any way other than ‘pouty.’ He wanted to kiss them, he already knew,  _ badly _ , because they looked soft, and they stuck out every time Levi frowned in such a way that caused Erwin’s eyes to be drawn to them over and over again. 

He wasn’t sure if Levi had managed to notice yet or not — Erwin tried not to blatantly stare, but he’d found that his gaze didn’t quite obey him when Levi was around — and while part of him worried he’d make him uncomfortable if he  _ did  _ catch him, another part of him also wanted Levi to know what he was thinking. What would his reaction be, he wondered? Hopefully good, but he hadn’t yet decided if he was sure on that point yet or not, and making any kind of move too preemptively, he knew, could easily turn out to be nothing short of disastrous. 

Keeping that in mind, Erwin tried not to let his thoughts wander to what Levi’s pink lips might feel like against his own or how warm his pale skin — the way it practically glowed underneath the candlelight of the restaurant happened to be remarkably captivating to him as well — would be to the touch, and instead concentrated on just talking to him, on learning as much as he could about him in the relatively short time they had together in case it didn’t happen again. Fortunately, Erwin hadn’t found a reason to think that it  _ wouldn’t  _ just yet, but there was no way to be sure, and he wasn’t going to waste the opportunity  _ or  _ get his hopes up too much in case he turned out to be wrong. 

After all, there  _ was  _ a chance that Levi was just humoring him or something to that effect, right? Perhaps what he’d thought of as small signs that he was enjoying himself weren’t actually that but something else, and he was being foolish in thinking that he’d be lucky enough to impress someone like Levi. Still, though, there was the fact that he didn’t seem to be in any hurry to leave or to end the date too that gave Erwin hope, and so with things going smoothly, he continued to try and do his absolute best to make sure that they stayed that way.

“Would you like another glass of wine?” He asked Levi throughout the night, dutifully pouring him a new one whenever his glass got low and Levi would answer him ‘yes’ — which he did every time, and which caused Erwin to have to stop eating every so often when he was out.

Obviously, though, he was all too happy to do it so that whatever pleasant atmosphere he’d managed to create wouldn’t wane, and he made sure that Levi was attended to in every possible way that he could in regards to his dinner. That meant making sure the meal was to his liking and getting him more napkins and ordering another bottle of wine when they inevitably ran out, and it also meant buying dessert, a large, decadent slice of chocolate cake with fluffy icing and a hot fudge drizzle that was meant to impress Levi just as much as everything else was combined. 

Fortunately, it seemed to work, because Levi agreed to take a walk in the park with him afterward — to walk off the cake, he’d said — where the pink flush on his cheeks looked lovely to Erwin’s eyes underneath the moonlight. It was from the wine, he thought, but the color only grew deeper the longer the night went on, spreading to his ears again and to his neck when Erwin reached out to hold his hand after they’d made it halfway down the block. He was mostly running off of instinct at that point,  _ sensing  _ that Levi wouldn’t mind and only hoping that he hadn’t made a wrong move afterwards. Thankfully, it ended up that he happened to be right, because although Levi stiffened a bit at first as if he was startled, he relaxed a second later and wound his fingers in between Erwin’s, looking away at the ground with an expression on his face that he found charmingly disgruntled. 

By then, Erwin felt sure that he was indeed exhibiting some kind of indignant bashfulness underneath all of his cool looks and casual poses, one that he only directed at himself, and that caused him to frown and scowl in response as if he was  _ annoyed  _ at having gotten flustered. It was amusing, Erwin pondered, but somehow incredibly endearing at the same time, and the thought that  _ he  _ might be the one having that effect on Levi not only thrilled him and made him feel more confident, but also caused him to forget almost everything he’d worried about earlier in regards to the possibility that he might be misreading things.  

After all, most of what had happened up to that point — including how close Levi had sidled up to him while walking, which had been what prompted Erwin to grab his hand in the first place — seemed to suggest otherwise. Thinking about it made anticipation swell up inside him, the nervous kind that caused butterflies to flutter in his stomach too, and it only grew by the minute the longer Levi’s small palm was held inside his own. His skin was warm, Erwin thought, and his grip sure and strong, and he found himself musing that it was probably a miracle that he was able to actually hold a conversation with Levi while they walked. Somehow, though, he managed to talk with him for another hour despite how enchantingly  _ distracting  _ he was, only thinking later that it had actually been easy because he enjoyed what Levi had to say just as much too.

He made him laugh, Erwin would remember, with his dry, sometimes off-color sense of humor that somehow seemed to complement his strange one, and his manner of speaking, although usually crass, was actually kind of refreshing. At the very least, he was blunt and honest about what he said — his words always straightforward — which Erwin could respect, and which only made him start to like Levi even more. Also, he thought hopefully,  _ that  _ type of attitude meant that he probably wouldn’t hesitate to let Erwin know if he no no longer wanted to be there, right? 

He suspected as much, and felt a rare-for-him, happy-go-lucky exuberance grow inside his chest the longer that they walked because Levi hadn’t said anything. Rather, he seemed perfectly content to be there with Erwin in the park, discussing everything from their jobs to where they’d grown up, to what kind of books they liked read and how bad they both were at dieting, and it was a good, as by the time it began to grow late Erwin wanted to kiss him even more than he already had when their date first started. 

Levi was just so  _ captivating  _ to him for some reason, as everything about him — including his voice, which sounded as sweet as honey to Erwin’s ears whenever he spoke, and his gaze, always alluring when Levi would glance up at him out from underneath dark lashes in a way that caused his heart to race —  _ all  _ combined into something that Erwin, left smiling more that night than he had in an entire week, wanted as much of as he could get. Even the indelicate snort Levi would let out sometimes when he was amused was somehow attractive, and with all of it right there next to him and so close to being within reach, he found himself struggling with an impatience to find out where this was going that he wasn’t used to.

Deciding that he wouldn’t take any chances until the end of the date, though, Erwin forced himself not to rush things, enjoying the evening for what it was and waiting until he could sense that the night was winding down. By then, they’d both grown quieter and had lapsed into a comfortable silence, which signaled that it was probably almost time for them to part lest things drag on and become awkward. Erwin’s choices were now to either just say goodnight respectably with a few words — the safer option, Erwin thought — or to put himself out there and hopefully seal the end of their date with a kiss, and because he wasn’t the kind of man to shy away from risks, he began to look for a place more private in the park, waiting just a little bit longer until he was  _ sure  _ he’d found a moment that was as perfect as he’d ever be able to get it.

It happened once they’d gotten halfway through their last rounding of the block, as they approached a small fountain tucked away in the embrace of several large trees. There was a light just above it, and a bench to the side, and it was quiet and calm with the trickling water and the absence of other pedestrians. The atmosphere was nice, he thought, but even it it wasn’t, he’d come to the realization that there probably wasn’t much else he could do at that point to ensure that he’d be successful. If Levi didn’t like him and hadn’t enjoyed the date, then by then, after a long dinner and copious amounts of conversation, he probably never would, and the thought that he had nothing to lose actually served to lend Erwin a bit of confidence — just for a moment, anyway, until he decided it was time and he abruptly stopped in place in front of the fountain. 

“What?” Levi asked when he did so, having turned around when Erwin quit walking to see what he was doing. His expression held a hint of concern for a split second, he thought idly, before it turned into something blank as he met Erwin’s eye, all with the exception of one delicately raised eyebrow and his now familiar small frown. “Did you swallow a bug or something?”

Despite feeling a hint of amusement at Levi’s question, Erwin’s focus remained solely on Levi's features.  _ Or,  _ Erwin thought with something like an inward groan, more specifically his lips, because the way he'd frowned had caused them to look pouty again, soft and inviting and  _ intimidatingly  _ perfect enough for him to feel a sudden and exceptional amount of nervousness. Ignoring it, though, he swallowed and decided that it was best to just answer the question he'd been posed before his silence made things uncomfortable, and took a deep breath, meeting Levi's gaze again and fixing him with what he  _ hoped  _ was a confident, warm smile rather than a furrowed, fretful brow. 

“Levi.” He started, turning to face him directly. “I’ve had a good time with you tonight.” 

“Uh.” Was Levi’s first response, seemingly blurted out in an almost dumbstruck way because of how the mood between them had abruptly changed. 

Before, it had been casual and relaxed and easygoing, but now it was suddenly more serious. Erwin had made it that way by making a point to stop and face him as if he wanted to tell Levi something important, but thankfully, Levi didn’t back away. Instead, he too dropped his relaxed demeanor as soon as he realized and made it a point to return all of Erwin’s focus, opening his mouth, glancing down at  _ Erwin’s  _ and back up again with something that was decidedly not discomfort, and adjusting his posture to stand up straight.

“Yeah.” He said then, the two pink spots on his cheeks already growing noticeably darker. “It wasn’t bad.”

At his teasing, Erwin let out a bit of tension with a breathy, nervous sort of laugh. “It wasn't bad? What about dessert? Can you admit that you enjoyed that, at least?”

“Let me think...okay, yeah, I guess I can give you that.”

“Good. I’m glad you liked it.”

“It wasn’t the best part of the night though.”

“The best part?” Erwin asked, his attention, already on Levi anyway, just focusing on him that much more raptly. He hadn’t forgotten what he’d been preparing to attempt, of course — how could he, with  _ kiss him, kiss him  _ constantly being repeated inside his head like a mantra? — but with  _ that  _ statement, Erwin wasn’t afraid to admit that Levi had succeeded in distracting him momentarily. In fact, he suddenly found himself feeling like he was veritably caught in the palm of his hand from the hopeful curiosity of what he might say, standing there in front of him and waiting on pins and needles for him to answer his question. “What was the best part?”   

“I dunno yet.” He answered though, gazing up at Erwin and causing him to raise his eyebrows in confusion. What did he mean? Erwin wasn’t sure, but his bewilderment only last another second, ending right away when Levi suddenly reached out to grab his other hand too and continued. “I'm still waiting to find out.” 

With his words — and both sets of his fingers now being held by Levi — it only took a second for Erwin to realize that he knew, or at least suspected, what was happening, and that he was standing by to see if Erwin was going to follow through and effectively giving him  _ permission _ . It was a coy and teasing way to do it, Erwin thought, but it was clear because he could only be referring to a kiss, and with a rush of exhilaration going through him and an excited sort of shock snapping him into action, he fixed his gaze on Levi’s eyes and asked his question, the one, single question that he had been anticipating the answer to all night. 

“Can I kiss you?” He posed simply, thinking that in any other situation, he might have been amused at how he'd somehow built up four words to the point of feeling like he might burst by the time he got his answer.

Thankfully, though, he did not, somehow managing to retain his composure when Levi gave him a tiny nod without hesitation as soon as he spoke, the quick jerk of his head almost imperceptible but still certain,  _ sure  _ in the way that he held Erwin’s gaze before he glanced down at his mouth expectantly.

After that, with Levi’s ‘yes’ undoubtable, Erwin just reacted on what must have been instinct. Everything around him disappeared when he saw it, and all of his thoughts seemed to melt away as he immediately moved to give Levi a kiss. Leaning over — and having to lean a long way, too, because Levi only came up to the top of Erwin’s chest, charmingly enough — he paused just long enough to place a hand at the side of Levi’s face and neck, cradling him where he’d already tilted his head up gently before he closed his eyes and finally pressed their lips together. 

At first, it was chaste. Then, it was not so chaste while still remaining slow, but _after_ that _,_ _after_ Levi had all but grabbed onto him and opened his mouth not even a minute after they’d started, it turned into something excitable, something that was both thrilling and heated and that made Erwin’s head spin. His knees felt week too, mostly from the way Levi tasted and how he relaxed into the embrace, but he ignored it, as _not_ remaining focused and _not_ keeping his feet on the ground was unacceptable. Rather, Erwin had to keep his head straight so that he could thoroughly kiss Levi like he deserved to be and show him how he felt,  and fortunately, he was able to keep his more emotional reactions under control. 

It was something that had never been particularly hard for him until right then, but interestingly enough, Levi seemed to have the same problem. For all of his calm, careful reserve and the almost chagrined way in which he’d wrestled with his own flustered feelings the entire night, it was now rather obvious that this was something that he both liked and wanted. His small hands found their way to Erwin’s chest and shoulders, wandering curiously, darting inside of his coat a second later to hold onto his middle as if to prove it, his lips continuing to beckon Erwin’s back again and again all the while with their sweetness too — so much in contrast to Levi’s rough exterior — and with the coy way in which he would pause, hovering with his mouth a mere millimeter away from Erwin’s covetous one like he was enticing him to move, to recapture it, only to dive back in on his own a moment later as if he didn’t even have the restraint that it took to wait. 

When he did, he would kiss him harder for a moment, forcefully pushing his lips against Erwin’s like he was punishing  _ him  _ for letting his impatience get the better of him, and as if all of that wasn’t enough to drive Erwin crazy, Levi even nipped at him a few times, gently, of course, but in a way that stoked the fire that he’d almost instantly lit beneath Erwin’s belt. It felt like it was quickly getting out of control, in fact, as their embrace had grown quite heated from the moment this had started, so much so that Erwin really  _ was  _ grateful that he’d found a spot for them to be alone in the park. It continued to grow more and more excitable, too, the more time that passed and the more they lost themselves into it, and just as Erwin realized there might be a possibility that this was headed somewhere else — even if that hadn’t been his intention — Levi pulled away, dashing whatever questions that might have sprung up in Erwin’s mind about his willingness before they could even  _ begin  _ by bluntly, unabashedly murmuring into his ear: “Wanna fuck?”

By then, Erwin was already halfway hard despite his attempts to suppress it because they were in public, but whatever control over his body he had left disappeared at those words, as  _ yes _ , of  _ course  _ he wanted that, perhaps more right then than he had ever wanted anything else in his entire life up until that point. It was ridiculous, really, because he hadn’t expected things to go this far and he  _ certainly  _ had not intended to try to get Levi to sleep with him at the end of their date — he wanted more than that, and would like to prove it — but if  _ Levi  _ was willing and proposing it himself...well, then Erwin would have been hard-pressed to find an ounce of strength in him to refuse. 

There was no way he could, not when his belly was twisting with longing and every nerve in his body alight with arousal because of the embrace they’d just shared, and not when his heart was swelling with fondness for the man in front of him either. That being said, he didn’t just want to ‘fuck’ as Levi had asked, he wanted to take him home and kiss him so thoroughly that he couldn’t remember his own name, to undress him slowly before giving every inch of his body the attention that it deserved, and to lay him down, using his lips, tongue, fingers — whatever he had in his arsenal that would work — to make him moan and sigh in a long expression of absolute bliss.

“Yes.” He merely said in response though, somehow managing to speak while he stared down at Levi, open-mouthed and with eyelids heavy with lust. “I do. I want you.”

Biting his lip at that, Levi tightened the grip he had on Erwin’s shirt, a spark of something hot and determined appearing in his eyes while he considered what he’d just said. It made Erwin think that he was about to kiss him again and drag him off until they were wrapped around each other on a bed, but to his surprise  _ and  _ eventual delight, Levi hesitated and asked something else instead. “Yeah? Are you gonna call me tomorrow if we do?”

“Do you want that?”

“Yeah. The cake really was fucking good, like I said.” 

Levi’s response made Erwin let out a quiet, breathy laugh despite everything, his intentions and the fact that he was unmistakably using the dessert they’d had as a metaphor for their entire date becoming clear. 

“Then yes.” He said, now smiling and feeling a surge of happiness from the confirmation that he’d had a good time. “Of course.”

“Does that mean we’re gonna do this again?” Levi asked next, his gaze flickering between Erwin’s eyes and his lips, his demeanor demonstrating both his desire and the fact that he was on the precipice of continuing this and giving in to it —  _ only  _ if Erwin would tell him what he wanted to hear, though.

Fortunately, it wasn’t hard, as Levi had made it clear with just a few questions that he wasn’t willing to have a one night stand. Rather, he wanted to see and hear from Erwin again and wouldn’t let this go any further unless he was given a sign that he would, and had now revealed that he was taking this seriously. Considering that Erwin, too, had started this wanting much more than just the opportunity to have sex, he was all too happy to answer Levi’s questions with openness, knowing that he would also be incredibly disappointed, if, after everything that they’d shared and how much fun he’d had, Levi were to disappear without another word from his life.

“I hope so.” He said with that thought, practically grinning in an uncharacteristic display of happiness that caused Levi to nearly smile too.

It was the first one he’d exhibited that night, Erwin realized, and it looked so lovely on his face that it was all he could do to keep from taking him into his arms again.

“Yeah.” Levi responded, a brief, bashful expression crossing his features before he steeled himself. “Me too.”  

“Alright. Then we will. I’ll call you tomorrow and we can plan it. How about that?”

“Okay.”

“Good.”

“Yeah. Know what else I want?”

“What?” 

“For you to fucking kiss me again. This time don’t stop.”

“You’re the one that stopped me.” Erwin replied to that, unable to keep himself from murmuring the words even as he  _ immediately  _ went to comply with Levi’s commands. 

He was only teasing, of course, and Levi knew it too if the scoff he let out was anything to go by, but anything else he might have said in response was cut off by Erwin’s mouth, which had covered his own eagerly, exhibiting a purposefulness that he was pleased to discover caused Levi to practically melt into his arms. He pressed against him this time too and grabbed at his shoulders all over again, kissing him back with a renewed, enlivened confidence that surely came from having heard what he’d wanted and discovering that he had no reason to hold back. 

Erwin felt much the same, obviously, but unfortunately, despite Levi’s request, they  _ did  _ have to stop, as they were still in the park and obviously had to get to his house. It was closer and within walking distance and perfectly suitable for what they were going to do, they decided, and Erwin somehow managed to navigate the blocks leading up to it with the erection in his pants stealing valuable concentration away from his brain. Thankfully, though, they made it there eventually without giving in to the electric excitement and heated, anticipatory tension that hung in the air around them as they walked, only resuming their kissing and wrapping themselves around each other again once they were inside.

It happened almost as soon as Levi had stepped into his home, in fact, because Erwin suddenly found himself pressed against the door even as he closed it, and it was then, right before all thoughts other than those that he needed to take Levi to bed disappeared, that he wondered how he had become so smitten with a man he’d met only two weeks ago in the matter of a few hours. Not that it mattered, of course, because he didn’t consider it a bad thing, but it was just a testament to what he already recognized as something different than anything he’d ever had before, something that he had an incredible feeling about despite the fact that looking up was  _ not  _ usually one of his strong points.

Sleeping with Levi only served to make it worse too, as he became lucky enough to see how beautiful he was  _ underneath  _ his clothing instead of with all of it on, given the privilege to touch warm, bare skin that was normally hidden away and a secret to all others, and finding that from the moment he started that he would be hard-pressed to not appreciate how special it all was. He didn’t think he would soon get the sweet sounds Levi made that night out of his head, either, nor forget how he felt against, beneath, and around him while they moved together, as even the way in which he held onto Erwin made his heart sing. His smell was intoxicating and his body bewitching too, so much so that he would have considered it a shame to not appreciate every aspect of it several times over before he was finished. 

That meant, of course, that it was hours before they collapsed beside each other, spent and tangled in ruined bedsheets, far past midnight and late enough so that Erwin even found himself hoping that Levi would stay. It felt nice to have him lying in the crook of his arm and on top of his chest while he dozed, and after having him there, even if it had only been once, Erwin did not think that his bed would ever feel the same. Unfortunately, though, he did go, but not because he was scared off or because he didn’t want to, as the fact that he was comfortable there became obvious in how he dragged out the time that it took in extricating himself from Erwin’s arms.

“I gotta be at work at 4.” He told him eventually, grumbling about it once he’d finally managed to make it off of the mattress.

“In the morning?” Erwin asked in surprise, his eyebrows shooting upward as soon as Levi spoke because….well, he had not known that.

If he had, he might have kept things short considering that 4:00 AM was only a few hours away by then, because while he knew working at a hospital came with strange hours, Levi had not slept. 

“Yeah.” He answered forlornly, glancing over his shoulder to where Erwin had propped himself up on a few pillows to watch him get dressed.

He was pulling on his pants by then, sadly enough, instead of settling in beside him underneath his blankets for the night, but as much as Erwin didn’t want him to leave he understood that he needed to. He needed to go home and shower and eat and hopefully take a nap before he had to leave for work, and depriving him of those things was not in his best interests — especially when he already knew he was going to talk to him tomorrow anyway.

“You’ll call tomorrow, right?” Levi asked once he was ready, apparently thinking along the same lines as Erwin led him to the door. 

“Yes.” Erwin answered right away, eager to assure Levi that he had not sacrificed his sleep for nothing and offering him a smile in response to his question. “I’ll call you.”

Biting his lip, Levi’s eyes appeared to already be bright with something like delight even as he continued. “Do you promise?”

“Yes, I promise.” Erwin said, all too happy to make  _ that  _ commitment. 

After that, apparently satisfied, they shared one last kiss before Levi was gone, and before Erwin spent the next 8 or so hours sleeping and then reliving every single moment of the incredible night he’d just had. It was the first thing he thought about when he woke up the next morning, in fact, and the cause of the small smile he couldn’t get off of his face during breakfast, as thoughts of Levi would not leave his head just as he predicted. He already couldn’t wait to see him again, he thought, and almost couldn’t believe how perfect their date had been looking back on it, everything — from the dinner to the dessert, to the walk in the park and their kiss by the fountain and what happened after — ending up going smoothly. The success felt good, but more than that, it also felt remarkably special,  _ almost  _ too good to be true but not quite falling into that category because Erwin had experienced all of it himself. 

The best part about it was that it was just the beginning, too, because he was sure of it by then, unable to see any reason not to be because of how he spent the morning in a hazy happiness, feeling more uplifted and positive about an aspect of his life than he had in ages. Certain that it would continue, he didn't bother to tamper it down at all, and instead just mused about the call he was going to have with Levi, imagining what they might do on a second date and even hoping that there would be a third. 

He found himself feeling a little impatient again while he thought about it, wondering when he should call because after all, Levi had not given him any type of hint as to when. All he’d done was make it clear that he wanted to hear from him that day one way or the other, and Erwin didn’t know if his being at work meant that he’d have to wait until later. The safest action was to not place the call until then, Erwin thought, but he didn’t want to wait, he wanted to hear Levi’s voice again. Deciding that it wouldn’t hurt to try — if Levi couldn’t talk, all he had to do was not pick up the phone — and also thinking that he didn’t want to wait too long and make Levi worry that he’d been left hanging, Erwin eventually went to take a quick shower with every intention of calling Levi once he was finished. 

He had a promise to fulfill, after all, and he didn’t feel comfortable dawdling on it, and so with that in mind, he washed and dried himself off and then reached for where he had left his phone in the bathroom, his heart pounding in his chest preemptively as he moved his hand, promptly hitting the side of the device with his fingers and knocking it into his very open, very  _ wet  _ toilet.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was infuriating, Levi thought, and hurtful too, both for a variety of reasons but mainly stemming from the fact that....well….after everything....it was just....
> 
> Erwin had seemed so different.

_ Erwin Smith _ was a bastard, Levi thought, a fucking shitty, sleazy, duplicitous  _ bastard _ , and the only person Levi was more angry at than him was his own damn self. 

He’d been a fool the night before when it had come to making decisions, he’d realized, and stupid to let himself think for even one single second that the guy he’d gone out with — Erwin, of course — had been anything  _ other  _ than a glorified scumbag. How was he supposed to believe anything else by then, after he’d been wined and dined, romanced, and then been given a promise, a  _ vow  _ that if he let his guard down and opened his legs for Erwin he would call him the next day instead of abandoning ship, only to unfortunately receive  _ nothing  _ in response afterward except for complete radio silence?

It was infuriating, he thought, and hurtful too, both for a variety of reasons but mainly stemming from the fact that....well….after everything....it was just....

Erwin had seemed so different.

It sounded ridiculous and silly when Levi said it out loud, but Erwin hadn’t come across as someone interested in only  _ one thing _ when Levi had been on the date with him the night before, and had instead given off a very convincing impression of sincerity about wanting to see him again. He’d seemed honest and had been kind and polite and respectful, in fact, but apparently the impersonation of someone who took those kinds of things seriously had been just that — an impersonation — and everything that had made Levi want to sleep with him in the first place was apparently just an act.

It was disappointing, he thought, and stung badly because Erwin had seemed to really like his personality instead of just his ass, and it made Levi feel like shit, stupid and pissed off at himself for falling for a slimy nice guy act like that in the first place. He should have fucking known better given the number of times this had happened to him in the past, but he’d apparently learned nothing from prior experiences, and his attempts to make sure they were on the same page by asking Erwin to call him repeatedly had not worked out. 

Of course, that had always been a risk, he knew, that just because a guy told him ‘I promise,’ didn’t ensure that he actually  _ meant  _ it, but like Levi kept thinking, Erwin had hadn’t come across as the typical type of manipulative asshole who just wanted a quick piece of ass.

On the fucking contrary, Levi remembered, he’d been amazing instead, and had made him feel more special than anyone else he’d ever gone out with — at least on a first date. He’d doted on him during dinner by making sure he had everything he wanted and then deferred to him when it came to making choices, seeming to be proceeding carefully throughout the night and always making sure to consider Levi's feelings no matter what it was they were talking about. Fuck, he'd even asked permission to kiss him despite the fact that Levi felt he'd more than obviously given it to him before that, an excited jolt going through his heart when he'd first realized that Erwin might actually  _ want _ to taste him like that in the first place. 

He'd been hoping that the night would end that way from the very moment he'd sat down with Erwin at the restaurant, when he was all gorgeous, soft smiles and warm conversation, the words he spoke to Levi insinuating what had  _ seemed _ like an honest curiosity into his personality and his life. He hadn't talked about himself at all unless Levi asked him too — which he did, because every time he learned something new about Erwin he just wanted to know more — and he was gentle and actually a bit  _ wholesome  _ in what Levi thought he wanted from him, or at least he’d seemed to be, as he didn’t pressure him for contact and stayed his distance, keeping his touches careful and light as if he sought  _ not  _ to just needlessly lead him to the bedroom for a meaningless one night stand. 

No, he had come across as well-mannered, as Levi had already remembered, and sweet and charming and actually _kind of_ _a dork_ beneath his striking good looks and quiet charisma, and...well, it was no wonder that Levi had fallen for his bullshit. It was no wonder that he’d wanted to sleep with him because of that either, he thought, finding himself with the strongest fucking urge he’d ever had to go down on another guy underneath a restaurant table about halfway through the date. Thankfully he had managed to control himself and _not_ do that, but it was hard, hard because Erwin was just so kind and so goddamn captivating to look at in the first place.

He was handsome, Levi had noticed before they’d even first spoken, and  _ tall  _ enough so that he had to look up at him when he talked, and without a doubt the most gorgeous man that he had ever gone out with in his entire life. He was so beautiful, in fact, that he’d been surprised when Erwin had asked him out in the first place, taken aback and left wondering if he’d misheard or gotten the wrong idea because the thought that someone who looked like  _ that  _ would be attracted to someone like  _ him  _ seemed too good to be true. 

He was all blonde hair, Levi thought, and dreamy blue eyes even though he was  _ not  _ the type to swoon - that was  _ embarrassing  _ \- with what was, in his opinion, a near perfect facial structure and a physique that was positively drool-worthy. He’d looked like he belonged on the cover of some magazine or a huge billboard or something instead of standing in Levi’s favorite coffee shop when he had first met him, and in the face of unexpected conversation, it had been hard not to feel intimidated for a brief second when Erwin fixed his sharp gaze upon him. 

It had happened when their drinks had gotten mixed up at the bar — when Levi had been given Erwin’s coffee instead of tea — but it hadn’t taken Levi long to get over any nervousness he might have had, as it hadn’t taken him long to come to the decision that Erwin wouldn’t be interested in any kind of romantic shit with him either. Realizing that meant that Levi didn’t have to bother with trying to impress him, and with no reason to do so, he didn’t worry about it and just spoke candidly with Erwin in the subsequent friendly, daily conversations that followed, remaining unconcerned with his attitude and his actions without the weight of any kind of future potential judgment resting on his shoulders. 

That had just made it all the more of a surprise when Erwin had actually asked him out, though, as if he had thought there was a chance in hell of that happening in the first place, Levi probably would not have accused Erwin of stealing his cake — even if he  _ had  _ just been fucking around with him

_ “Hey.” Levi said to him that day, after walking into the coffee shop to find that Erwin had ordered the barista’s last slice of chocolate cake. “You’re eating my fucking cake.” _

_ “Pardon me?” Erwin replied, his eyebrows raising while Levi crossed his arms and gave him a mock glare. _

_ “You heard me, bastard.” _

_ Staring at him after that, Erwin took a moment to look over his expression and then gave him a smile, a gorgeous, full one that had Levi struggling to ignore how hard his heart had suddenly started pounding in his chest. “ _ Your _ fucking cake?”  _

_ “Yeah.” Levi mumbled, said heart now jumping into his throat at the sound of Erwin saying the word ‘fuck’ for some stupid reason. “I always eat that here, and it was the last one. I was looking forward to that shit all day.” _

_ “Oh, I see.” Erwin replied, his lips  _ —  _ his perfect, full lips that were never going to end up pressed up against Levi’s so it didn’t matter whether or not he had just come across as rude  _ —  _ now slackening into a small frown, his eyes going from Levi’s to the chocolate cake crumbs on his plate and then back up again. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware that the chocolate cake here fell under your ownership.” _

_ Snorting at Erwin’s teasing, dry response, Levi rolled his eyes too and then bit his lip, watching as Erwin continued to eye him and the cake intently for another moment as if he was thinking. He paused for so long that Levi almost began to think that he really  _ had  _ been rude and accidentally offended him somehow, in fact, studying him, finally swallowing after another moment and clearing his throat as if he’d made some sort of decision before he continued. _

_ “Would you like me to make it up to you?” He said then, speaking a bit softer, smiling gently, and raising his eyebrows again as if….as if he was no longer talking shit with Levi, and his question happened to be completely serious rather than a joke. _

_ “Make it up to me?” Levi responded though, still not imagining that Erwin would use this opportunity for anything other than friendly banter. “How? You ate it all. Are you gonna go bake a cake right now?”  _

_ “No.” Erwin said simply, his gaze sweeping over Levi once more, slowly,  _ cautiously _ , before he spoke again. “I was actually going to ask if I could take you out for dessert. And for dinner before that too, of course.” _

_ Immediately, Levi was stunned.  _ What _ , he thought, his mind shitting a proverbial brick, was Erwin asking him out? On a  _ date?  _ That was his first assumption, of course, because he wasn’t sure what else he could mean, but had he misunderstood? Had he actually said something else, and Levi was hearing him wrong? He didn’t think so, but it only took a few seconds before he became too impatient and unwilling to waste his time on simple speculation. _

_ “Are you asking if I want to go on a date with you?” He asked then, ignoring the small hint of panic that threatened to creep up his spine when he realized that if Erwin said no, he’d never be able to step foot into his fucking coffee shop ever again.  _

_ That was the worst case scenario for this, of course, but thank fucking  _ god  _ Levi’s suspicions, for once, turned out to be correct. _

_ “Ah…” Erwin started, having the goddamn decency to look slightly uncertain himself for a split second too  _ —  _ not because he wasn’t sure of  _ his  _ answer, but because he was apparently a bit concerned over what Levi’s might be. “Yes. I am. If it’s alright with you, of course.” _

_ “Uh.” Levi had uttered at that, biting down hard on his lower lip as he sought not to turn red. _

_ Unfortunately, it didn’t work and he was pretty sure he became a tomato anyway, but despite how his automatic response to being flustered was to glance away and grimace from embarrassment at having someone he barely knew see him like that, on the inside he was suddenly elated. What the hell? Was this guy  _ really  _ interested in him? Apparently he was, Levi realized, but he almost couldn’t believe it, feeling completely awed for a moment because he had absolutely not expected this when he’d approached Erwin in the coffee shop that day. Just because he was shocked, though, did not mean he wasn’t going to respond with a firm ‘yes,’ because he’d known before he’d even received clarification that he sure as shit fucking would, as….as….well, Erwin made him feel like he’d just tripped and was about to fall down a flight of stairs in the best way possible.  _

_ That meant, of course, that Levi  _ liked  _ him  _ —  _ something that he had been struggling to admit to himself with increasing difficulty ever since they had first met. What was the point, he’d thought, when Erwin surely didn’t feel the same way back? He hadn’t managed to come up with one by then, and even if he had, it was a bit frustrating for Levi to find himself so affected by another person. He was just a man, Levi told himself, a really hot man with a nice ass, yeah, but just another human being nonetheless, nevermind the fact that he was cute in the stupidest of ways like how he laughed at shit that wasn’t even funny and seemed to have a weakness for sweets, always found sitting at a table with whatever new dessert item was on the menu along with his usual cup of over-sugared coffee. _

_ It was really no surprise that he had taken Levi’s chocolate cake because of that, but that wasn’t all, either. His smile was nice, nice enough to light up his entire face, somehow, and to make Levi’s heart beat in his chest so hard sometimes that it was fucking ridiculous. Why couldn’t he control himself, he wondered, and swallow down the nervous excitement he felt when Erwin fixed that expression on him? It was somehow gentle but deeply intent at the same time, as if he was always listening closely, always contemplating everything Levi said with a serious consideration no matter how shitty and dumb it was. It was all bullshit though, Levi would think with increasing frustration and annoyance at himself, because focusing on it was a waste of time, feeling lighthearted whenever he saw Erwin was a foolish mistake, as there was no chance in the world that he looked at Levi as anything other than a friendly acquaintance who he sometimes spoke to at the coffee shop.  _

_ That’s what he’d tried to tell himself before, of course, but all of a sudden the unwelcome thoughts of longing were not so unwelcome anymore. All of a sudden, Levi realized, they didn’t fucking have to be, because if Erwin’s request to take him out on a date said anything, then he must have had thoughts along those lines about Levi too. That’s what he assumed while standing there and soaking in Erwin’s words, unless, of course, this  _ wasn’t _ what he was imagining and it  _ was _ too good to be true, but right then Levi felt sure that it wasn’t, especially after Erwin gave him another warm, clearly pleased looking smile when he eventually nodded and shook his head ‘yes.’ _

_ “Yeah.” He mumbled too, glancing away to stare at the wall for a second when Erwin’s eyes lit up and it made Levi’s face flush hot. “Okay.” _

_ “Great.” Erwin replied, relaxing back into his seat from where he’d apparently tensed up to wait for an answer.  _

_ He watched Levi closely and the tiny furrow between his brows  _ —  _ which Levi had only noticed once it disappeared  _ —  _ melted away, and it took him a moment before he could look back, before he could calm his quickened breath and pounding heart and the overall feeling of just having ran a mile around the fucking park to meet Erwin’s calm gaze. It was reassuring, for some reason, as everything about him would prove to be during their dinner, and he quickly got over being flustered, and eventually managed to sit down at Erwin’s table unprompted, swallowing as he pulled out a chair and Erwin quickly made room for him by moving aside his belongings. _

_ “Can I ask for your phone number?” He asked Levi then, producing a cell phone from his pocket that he carefully, pointedly entered Levi’s digits into after he recited them from memory. “Got it. Thank you. When would you like to go out?” _

_ “Uh...I dunno. The weekend?” Levi replied, his mind suddenly racing to recall his work schedule at the hospital. _

_ “That would be fine.” Erwin said, smiling again. “I’m free.” _

_ “I’m off work Friday night.” _

_ “Alright. I can meet you somewhere near the central park, if you’d like. I know a place nearby that’s known for it’s chocolate cake. It’s the best in the city, in fact.” _

_ Snorting when he remembered the cake, Levi wondered how it was possible to find the way Erwin had just asked him out  _ — _ not so subtly disguised as an attempt to apologize for eating Levi’s dessert, something that did not actually matter  _ —  _ so charming. It was pretty fucking smooth too, he thought as he gazed at Erwin across from him, and suggested that he’d just been  _ waiting  _ for an opportunity to do so, and had he not already been blinded by the warm, hopeful feeling that was starting to build in his chest, he might have chastised himself for falling for it.  _

_ “I hope so.” He responded instead, teasing Erwin and eyeing him with a raised eyebrow. _

_ “Me too.” Erwin answered immediately, letting out a soft laugh as he gave Levi a slightly coy look. “I can’t bear the thought of you not forgiving me.” _

_ Lips parting at that, Levi’s heart almost stopped too at what Erwin was doing now:  _ flirting  _ with him. It was obvious, he thought, and exciting even if it made him blush like a fucking innocent teenager or something again, and he felt enough of a thrill from it to immediately decide that there wasn’t anyway he wasn’t going to flirt back. _

_ “Yeah? You torn up over it, or something?” _

_ “Yes. If there was a way I could make it up to you right now, I would.” _

_ “Hmm…” Levi replied, pretending to think while the smile Erwin wore just grew wider. “Just promise me it’ll be worth the wait.” _

_ “I promise.” Erwin said, his eyes brightening at Levi’s words as if he was overjoyed or something to hear them, the purposeful way in which he nodded too giving off a convincing impression of absolute sincerity. “I’ll make sure of it.” _

Erwin had not gone back on his word — not  _ that _ time, anyway — and everything, from how he dressed up handsomely to the fact that the chocolate cake was indeed delicious if not expensive, to the way he seemed to eagerly agree to see him again in the park and then even how he treated him in the bedroom after, made Levi believe that he'd just gotten incredibly, unbelievably but without a doubt lucky as fuck. Considering that he hadn't imagined he'd ever have the good fortune to see someone like Erwin naked in the first place after they’d first met — and not withstanding everything else — even the realization that they'd slept together alone was amazing, so much so that Levi  _ almost  _ wished that was the only thing he had actually wanted from Erwin too.

If he'd only been interested in Erwin's looks, he thought, it probably would have been a lot easier the next day when Levi eventually realized that Erwin wasn't going to call him. He’d first wondered if he'd been made a fool of at 11:00 A.M. the morning after when he'd first checked his phone and saw nothing, telling himself that no, it was too early to know and Erwin still had plenty of time to contact him that day like he'd said he would. He'd promised, Levi remembered,  _ twice _ after his prompting because he was sure of  _ his  _ feelings and wanted to know whether he was wasting his time or not, and why would Erwin go back on his word now when every other thing he'd done had actually surpassed Levi's expectations? 

It didn't make sense, he thought, and that just made it all the more frustrating and awful later when Levi continued taking breaks at work to check his phone, feeling the disappointed, sickening weight in his stomach grow heavier each time he saw that he had no missed calls. There was no voicemails either, in fact, no text message or any other sign that Erwin had tried to contact him by 6:00 P.M. that evening, and by then he was  _ sure _ that Erwin wasn't going to call, that he'd been manipulated and taken advantage of and made to look and feel like a fool by some asshole who he'd thought could actually make him happy.

It hurt to realize, he thought,  _ a lot,  _ because he had really liked Erwin, and even by 9:30 P.M. he was still far more pissed at himself for ending up like this in the first place. It  _ had _ been too good to be true after all, he told himself while taking an angry shower, reviewing the night’s events over and over again in his mind for something he might have missed, some sign that he'd overlooked that would have told Levi that Erwin had only swept him off his feet like that because he'd wanted to get fucking laid. Surely there was  _ something _ questionable that he should have noticed, right? A vague dismissal during a discussion about future events, or an uninterested expression on his face while Levi talked about something he liked? 

By all means there should have been, Levi knew, instead of what he  _ had  _ gotten, which was an ‘I hope so,’ when Levi asked if they were going to go out again, but by the time he crawled into bed that night racking his brain had proved fruitless and he still just felt confused, alternating between being anxious over the possibility that he was misreading the situation and something had happened — could he have gotten in an accident? — and upset from the fact that it seemed unlikely, and that Erwin might have just acted so charming, interested in him, and kind because he’d only wanted a piece of Levi's ass. If that was true though, then what the hell was he, Levi thought, a goddamn con artist? Did he do this all the time? Did he go around frequenting different coffee shops to find someone to seduce by pretending to be a  _ nice guy  _ just so he could get his rocks off and run? Why did he overplay the part so much?

When it came down to it, it was hard for Levi to think of and believe any other reason for why Erwin might not have called, especially because he didn’t  _ want  _ to believe it, and it wasn’t just that, either. He almost  _ couldn’t  _ believe it, he thought, as it didn’t add up with how he’d come across and it didn’t make  _ sense  _ like he’d already found himself thinking a hundred times, as even the way Erwin had been with him in the bedroom suggested that he was  _ different  _ than other men, selfless and thorough and decidedly  _ not  _ as if he was just there for a quick lay and nothing else at all afterward. 

He’d been good, Levi recalled, the memories of what they’d done making him feel flushed even now when he was disgruntled and mad, but it wasn’t just that he’d known what he was doing, no, it was the fact that he’d focused on Levi far more than himself for most of the night, his attention and gentleness making him feel just as special as he had during the previous parts of the date before he’d gone home with him. He’d undressed him slowly once they’d gotten to his townhouse, taking his time and kissing him all over in such an impassioned way that Levi had felt like he was being worshipped, eventually and determinedly giving him the best fucking blowjob he’d ever had in his life in a way that suggested there was nothing else he’d rather be doing.

He’d paid close attention to him, watching him to see what he liked and apparently taking mental notes because he would always repeat what he’d done that had made Levi moan, and taking the time to make him come before he had even taken his pants off, keeping them belted and buttoned up, in fact, until Levi started fumbling between his legs himself. He’d wanted to touch Erwin too, of course, and relished in the way that he managed to make him gasp and whisper his name in the dark while he ran his small hands all over him, but even then, even after opening him up carefully and finally sinking into him up to the hilt, Erwin made it so that Levi could barely try and do anything to bring  _ him  _ more pleasure while they were fucking much less remember his own name. 

He’d come so hard that second time that he’d sworn he’d almost fucking blacked out, and felt so thoroughly satisfied and blissful afterward that he could not consider what they had done together to be anything but...well,  _ making love _ , even if Levi hated that wording because it sounded stupid and cheesy and he wasn’t like that, just like he wasn’t the type to fall for some guy’s bullshit and honestly believe he was different than all the rest like he was actually living his life inside of a fucking romance novel or something.

Except, he thought, he was that type,  _ apparently _ , because he’d really believed Erwin liked him and wanted to date him and he’d finally found a good thing, enough so that he’d made sure to give Erwin the ride of his life too before they were finished, one that did not pass by without Levi flushing hot from the reverent way in which Erwin watched him. He’d told him he was beautiful and that he felt amazing and had stared wide-eyed at Levi while he moaned as if he’d wanted to commit the sight to memory, and at the time it had all seemed so unmistakeable, he remembered, so  _ certain  _ that he’d left Erwin’s place afterward feeling happy and positive and sure that he would see him again, uplifted by the fact that Erwin had promised to call him as if not doing otherwise was unthinkable, only to spend the next day growing more and more morose and downcast with each hour that passed sans the cheerful sound of his phone ringing. 

Now, he was just lying in bed cursing himself and Erwin and the entire world, in fact, because this was  _ bullshit _ , and not only had he discovered how fucking  _ stupid  _ he could be and how he’d really let Erwin see parts of himself that he normally kept tightly wrapped up when he shouldn’t have, but he knew he could never go back into the coffee shop either, as he’d rather eat shit than come face to face with Erwin again after how much of an idiot he’d made him feel in the span of a single 24 hours. Fuck, he thought, he wouldn’t even be able to look at himself in the mirror for the next few days either, refusing right then to even chance acknowledging the marks that had been left on him until he was completely sure they’d disappeared.

Thinking about the one he’d seen on his thigh in the shower made him shiver, as did the memory of Erwin’s big hands on his hips and how nice it had felt to lie in his arms afterward, to really be  _ held _ , and it fucking  _ sucked _ , he thought, to feel so discarded when he thought he’d actually been valued for once, when he had taken great pains from the beginning to ensure that he did not end up in a situation like that in the first place — especially when he didn’t understand why Erwin had to make him feel so wanted when he hadn’t had to. Why had he made the date so romantic? Why had he gone out of his way to act excited about the prospect of seeing him again? Why had he put Levi’s pleasure first and before his own, taking the time to make him feel that good if he only intended to just fuck him and not call again?

It didn’t make sense, Levi thought again, it just  _ didn’t _ . Regardless of whether he understood it or not, though, it didn’t change the fact that Erwin hadn’t called, and that was why, starting the next day, Levi was going to forget all about this, to  _ get over it _ because there was nothing he could do and he sure as  _ hell  _ wasn’t going to give Erwin the satisfaction of moping around feeling melancholy over him even more than he already had to begin with. He  _ certainly  _ wasn’t going to call Erwin himself, either, because that would be pathetic, and he was going to wake up and delete his number and take more hours at work or something to distract himself from this shit instead, thinking that he’d spend as much time as he could in the ER dealing with gaping wounds and sick kids until he managed to forget about Erwin and the incredible way in which he’d made him feel. 

He should probably be grateful that it was possible to do so, he thought, as this certainly wouldn’t be the first time that he’d had to throw himself into work in an effort to forget about something disappointing. Knowing that didn’t make it any better though, of course, but as he saw it he didn’t really have any other choice, and so he tossed and turned underneath his blankets until he felt like he’d come to terms with it enough to go to sleep, rolling over to check his phone one last time  _ just in case _ before he abruptly swore again and all but slammed a pillow down over his face in frustration. 

Once again, he saw, there had not been any signs of a single missed call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has been really fun to write thank you for reading :3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just getting to hold Levi in his arms the night before had been a privilege in and of itself, not to mention everything else they’d done, all the kisses and the intimacy they’d shared and the fact that Levi had allowed Erwin to see him during one of the most unguarded moments someone could have, and he didn’t want to...well, he didn’t want to fuck it up. He didn’t want to ruin things when they’d barely just started because the thought of not getting to see Levi again actually made his heart ache already, but if he’d flushed his phone, then what was he supposed to do?

Clatter.

Splash.

_ Clunk. _

The sounds of Erwin’s phone falling into the toilet would surely haunt his dreams for days, and for a second after the device landed in the water, he was rendered completely still and frozen in shock. What…had just happened? 

After gaping for another moment, Erwin’s mind, usually much quicker than that, finally caught up, and he then sprung into action, falling to his knees in front of the white porcelain and plunging his hand into the water as fast as he could with another splash — surely the only time in his entire life that he would ever do such a thing  _ that  _ willingly — before grabbing his phone, pulling it out and immediately diving across his bathroom floor for the towel he’d just dried off with.

_ “Shit.” _  He swore, uncharacteristically losing control of his emotions for a moment, feeling panic and honest fear welling up inside him from the possibility that he'd just ruined his phone at a time when he really,  _ really _ did not need to. 

Desperately, he pressed the unlock button a few times after he’d made sure the device was no longer dripping, returning it to the towel a second later when the screen stayed black and nothing happened. Drying it off more carefully this time, Erwin made sure  _ all  _ the water was gone from the outside of it and then continued his efforts to wake the precious thing up, tapping the screen, mashing every single button that there was, and attempting to restart it before he finally got it to show a hint of life. For a moment he was ecstatic when it lit up and appeared to be turning on, only for his relief to fade a few seconds later after nothing else happened, after the screen just stayed white for a moment before abruptly turning black again.

“Shit.” He muttered again, staring down at the device with wide eyes.

What should he do? His phone was the only way that he had to contact Levi, who he had  _ promised  _ to call and who he could  _ not  _ bear the thought of disappointing — even after just only one date, and one night spent together that he already knew was one of the best he’d ever experienced in his entire life. The fact that it had only happened after he’d assured Levi he would contact him again had certainly not been forgotten, of course, as the  _ importance  _ Levi placed on his follow-up phone call hadn’t been missed. It was a good thing, Erwin thought, because it meant that Levi likely felt the beginnings of something special growing between them too, which overjoyed him, and which was now causing his heart to race because of the possibility that it might be ruined. 

That was what would likely happen if he didn’t call Levi that day, Erwin knew, because his silence would make him come across as an ass, as someone who had only been looking to take Levi to bed and nothing more with their date — something that, of course, could not be further from the truth — and as a liar too, a contemptible, depraved  _ villain _ , to be honest, the kind that tricked men into sleeping with him before he discarded them as if they were trash and moved on. Doing something like that was positively despicable in Erwin's opinion — or at least, doing it while not being upfront about his intentions was — and the thought of doing it to  _ Levi  _ was even worse, as not only did Erwin  _ not  _ want him to think he was like that, but he didn't want Levi to feel like he thought their time together had been meaningless. It would hurt his feelings, surely, Erwin knew, and he'd be angry and upset and regretful, and really, with nothing else to go on, what else was he supposed to think?

Sure, Erwin knocking his phone into the toilet a few moments ago had been an accident — an unfortunate, inconvenient, and  _ incredibly  _ ill-timed accident — but there would be no reason for Levi to suspect that. Even if he  _ did  _ think that something might have happened to Erwin he probably wouldn’t assume that it had resulted in the destruction of his phone, either, and anyway, what were the odds that he’d be prevented from calling him right after their date in the first place? Pretty low, Erwin told himself, which made him feel very unlucky and a bit downcast and negative as a result, along with the deep sense of guilt he already had hanging over his shoulders at the thought of disappointing Levi. 

He’d given Erwin his trust, he remembered, a beautiful gift that he recognized the importance of and that he’d  _ sworn  _ not to waste, and this was how he was going to repay him? With no call the next day like he’d asked for, no  _ assurance  _ that Erwin would value and respect him if they were to end up continuing this? Just the thought of Levi thinking he wouldn’t almost made Erwin sick, as Levi didn’t deserve that; he was special, he knew already, and a great catch — one that had made him feel alive in a way that he hadn’t in a long time, and one that he was incredibly  _ lucky  _ to have even found and had the good fortune to take out in the first place.  

Just getting to hold Levi in his arms the night before had been a privilege in and of itself, not to mention everything else they’d done, all the kisses and the intimacy they’d shared and the fact that Levi had allowed Erwin to see him during one of the most unguarded moments someone could have, and he didn’t want to...well, he didn’t want to fuck it up. He didn’t want to ruin things when they’d barely just started because the thought of not getting to see Levi again actually made his heart ache already, but if he’d flushed his phone, then  _ what  _ was he supposed to do?

Unfortunately, it wasn’t placing the call itself that posed the biggest problem. No, that distinguishment went to the fact that he didn’t have Levi’s number stored anywhere else but on his phone, as otherwise, he could just go borrow his neighbor’s or walk down to the leasing office for his townhome or even go into work — all things that he would do in a heartbeat if it meant solving his screw-up before it actually became one. Why, he thought with an disparaging, inward groan, had he not written Levi’s number down somewhere? Why had he not stored it on a different device — like his tablet or laptop — just in case something happened to his phone?

Because he’d never actually once thought anything  _ would _ , he knew, and there was no way he could have known. That just meant the real question was why had he been so clumsy to begin with? He had never considered himself particularly graceful, he thought, but he didn’t often do things like that, and the only reason he could come up with was that he’d just been too distracted, too busy thinking about Levi and how happy he’d made him feel that he’d gotten stuck with his head in the clouds. He couldn’t blame himself for doing it — to him, the fact that Levi didn’t have that effect on  _ everyone  _ was hard to believe — but he wished he’d been paying more attention,  _ focusing  _ on the little things, like where he set his phone down so that it was safe instead of being inches away from any potential watery disasters. 

Unfortunately, though, he hadn’t, and he wasn’t sure what he could do about it now. The device seemed to be busted because it wouldn’t turn on and felt like a dead weight in his hand, as whatever had happened to cause the screen to light up a few moments ago had apparently been it’s last breath. It wasn’t  _ working _ , he thought with exasperation, and he didn’t know if it was even able to be fixed, but there had to be something he could do, right? Was there a way he could get the information off of his phone without it being powered up? He wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t going to just sit there and not try, either. 

Doing so was out of the question, and so he pushed aside his disappointment and frustration and just started to think, staring down at what was, right then, nothing more than a small brick as he ran through all of the possible options in his mind. Should he take it to the store where he’d gotten it? Was there anything he could try at home that might work? Hadn’t he heard about this sort of thing happening to other people before, and that it didn’t always turn out as badly as one might think?

He had, he remembered, from a co-worker at the school he taught at, in fact, when he’d overheard a conversation in the faculty room about someone’s child dropping their phone into the bathtub. It had sunk to the bottom and even stayed there for over a minute before an adult had come to handle the situation, and despite the person’s worst fears, had ended up being alright after they’d let it sit in a bowl of rice. 

Rice soaked up all of the excess water from it, he recalled, even from the inside of the phone which made sense, and which he  _ definitely  _ had an extra large package of in his pantry just waiting to be used. Picking himself up off where he’d been leaning against the wall on his bathroom floor — he felt a bit silly because of how dramatic he must have looked, but this was  _ important  _ — he all but rushed into his kitchen, grabbing the biggest bowl he had and the pack of rice, tearing the plastic open with his teeth while he placed his phone at the bottom of the dish so that he could pour the tiny, uncooked grains over it.

Watching until it was completely covered up, Erwin discarded the bag and then shook the bowl a bit to make  _ sure  _ that the rice was distributed evenly, and then stood there staring for a moment, wondering if that was all he had to do. Should he put something over the bowl? Would placing it under a lamp for more heat help? How long was he even supposed to leave it in there?

Unsure, Erwin decided that the best thing to do would be to consult Google, and hurried over to get his laptop — which was better than just standing there over the bowl of rice, fretting — so that he could sit at his kitchen table and find out, only having the thought that he should probably wash his hands considering where they’d been right before he opened it. After doing that, he had several pages of information pulled up in seconds regarding ‘how long do you leave a wet phone in rice,’ and unfortunately, what he saw was disheartening. According to the internet the  _ minimal  _ time that he should treat the device this way was 24 hours, with 3-5 days apparently being the maximum depending on how how much water had actually gotten inside of it.

_ Damn it. _ He thought, swearing irritably for the third time that morning. 24 hours? He did not have 24 hours; on the contrary, he was not even sure that he had half that. Given that Levi had practically been up all night and then had to go to work at the hospital that morning, Erwin did not think that he would be staying up very late once he got home. He didn’t know what time that was, sure, but even if he worked 12 hours he would get off at 4 and likely be exhausted, and calling him before that was imperative for many reasons — one in particular being that he didn’t want to wake him up when he was asleep.

The others he had already thought about in great detail,  of course, feeling dismay and despair at the thought of keeping Levi waiting any longer than he had to, as the later in the day it got, the more likely it seemed to be that Levi would think Erwin had broken his promise. Again, guilt and a harrowing dread filled him at just the thought, and he wondered if putting the phone in the rice had been the right thing to do. Perhaps he shouldn’t have even bothered with it and should have just gone straight to the store, as they could probably tell him more anyway, like whether it was even salvageable or not or if there was a way to get his data off the phone without having to repair it. 

Maybe they even had their own methods to do so that wouldn’t take 24 hours, he thought, trying to be hopeful even though he had never heard of such a thing. Thinking while staring across his kitchen at the bowl of rice with his brow furrowed, it only took Erwin a few moments to decide that he was wasting his time with it, jumping up a second later so that he could go throw on some clothes because...well, he had been naked that entire time, having barely even given a single thought to getting dressed after his phone had taken it’s dive into the toilet. 

Not that it mattered, of course, because he was in his house and he had other things to worry about, but he couldn’t go outside like that, and the way in which he hurriedly grabbed the first pair of pants and shirt he saw was a testament to how eager and desperate he was feeling to get this situation taken care of. He didn’t even comb his hair, he thought, which he would have normally done, as he was usually considered to be a rather patient man. Now, however, he felt restless and agitated because _ time was of the essence  _ here, and the thought of not doing everything he could to keep himself from losing Levi before he had ever really had a chance to truly have him was unacceptable.

With the hopes that his luck would improve at the store, Erwin went to remove his phone from the bowl of rice, hesitating when he felt that some of it was wet — which meant that it was working, albeit slowly — before he just grabbed the entire dish to take it with him, thinking that if this  _ did  _ end up being his only option, taking it out when he shouldn’t have would just waste more time. Cradling the bowl in his arms, he secured it in the passenger seat of his car and raced across town to the store, somehow managing to not get a speeding ticket from how fast he drove and arriving at the shopping center shortly before lunch. 

“Hello.” He said to the nearest salesperson after he’d walked through the door and into a crowd of people, sparing no thought to the fact that he likely looked odd holding a large bowl of rice with uncombed hair and the rumpled shirt he’d been wearing the night before. “I dropped my phone into the toilet, and—

“I’m sorry, sir, but you’re going to have to put your name into the computer and wait in the queue.”

_ Queue? _ Erwin thought, finding himself halted both physically and mentally by the dismissal. 

Glancing in the direction that the salesperson was pointing to, Erwin’s gaze landed on a small computer terminal, one with a sign above it that said: “Please queue here. One of our friendly sales associates will be with you as soon as possible. The current wait time is  _ FORTY-SIX  _ minutes.”  _ 46 minutes?  _ That was practically an hour! By then it would be almost 1:00 in the afternoon, Erwin realized, which was  _ far  _ past the time that he had planned on calling Levi, and which didn’t even include however long it might take for them to repair his phone. What if that took another hour? What if it took  _ two? _

Although the thought of keeping Levi waiting like this was making Erwin tense and uneasy, even if that happened it still wouldn’t be evening — the time that he felt was the absolute latest that he wanted to call. If he had to afterward, he knew right then, he would do it anyway with the thought that Levi would probably understand, but regardless, he really didn’t see that he had any other choice. 3 more hours was certainly less than the worst case scenario of 24, he thought, and with no other ideas, Erwin trudged over and put his name and phone number into the computer, adding ‘My phone fell into the toilet. This is an emergency.’ into the box that asked why he was there in the hopes that he might be able to skip a few others in the queue.

After all, didn’t something like this take precedence over someone who was just there to pay their bill? In Erwin’s opinion it did, but he also knew that the other customers would likely not agree with him — understandably, too — and so he swallowed down his agitation and went to take a seat, placing the bowl of rice with it’s precious cargo inside on his lap to try and get comfortable. Like that, he waited....and waited and waited and  _ waited _ , far past the forty six minutes and into the 1 hour and 15 minute range before he was finally called up to the front of the store from where he’d started pacing, feeling tense and like his blood pressure had skyrocketed into dangerous levels and a little irritable at the delay, trying to force himself to remain patient as he went up to approach the bored looking salesperson.

“Hello.” He managed to say calmly when he reached the kid — she couldn’t be over 18, Erwin thought with slightly lowered confidence — setting the bowl he carried down on the counter and watching as he was eyed with an uninterested expression. 

“Dropped your phone into water?” She asked after a few moments, her tone thick with an indifference that Erwin chose not to acknowledge in favor of getting things taken care of as soon as possible. 

“Yes.” He replied, as the salesperson seemingly forgot he was there all of a sudden and glanced away to stare at her computer screen for nearly thirty seconds, clicking her mouse and typing a few words on the keyboard before Erwin, unsure of whether she was waiting for more information from him or not, cleared his throat and continued speaking anyway. “It fell into the toilet. It lit up once, but nothing showed on the screen. Then it seemed to die, and I put it into the rice hoping that would help, but then I read you have to leave it for at least 24 hours.”

“Yeah. Usually.” Erwin’s apathetic helper replied, offering up no further information as she took a moment to eye Erwin’s bowl of rice.

“Well...is there anything else that can be done to fix it quicker?” 

“Quicker?”

“Yes. There’s a call I need to make today. It’s very important, and—

“We can get you a new phone.”

“But will the information from this one be salvageable? The number I need to call is stored in it, and I don’t have it saved anywhere else.”

“It depends.” Erwin was told, the statement causing his eyebrows to raise as he waited on an explanation, his interested expression turning into a frown while the salesperson just idly chewed on her pen instead of continuing.

What was her problem? He wondered, beginning to feel  _ slightly  _ exasperated after all the waiting he’d done and now this.

Clearing his throat louder than before, Erwin stepped to the side in front of the counter quite obviously, gesturing toward the rice in an effort to get the girl’s attention so he would not have to be rude. 

“Depends on what?” He asked, his ire increasing when he was only eyed with an indignant expression. 

“On how bad the water damage is.” He was told, also receiving a sigh and a shake of the head as if it was obvious.

“Is there a way that you can check?”

“Not at this store. We don’t do that here. You’d have to send it off to one of our warehouses.”

“I don’t have time for that.” Erwin said then, almost snapping the words, suddenly feeling  _ beyond  _ simple crossness and into something worse. 

He wasn’t normally rude to sales people, he thought, and didn’t like doing it, but after the morning he’d had and then having to sit and wait for over an hour for someone to help him, only to get stuck with someone who, well...wasn’t actually helping him, he was getting close to being at the end of his rope. He felt a bit  _ indignant  _ suddenly, and irritated, and so vexed by his situation that it was all beginning to turn into anger, as he’d thought he’d made it clear that this was an emergency. He was so desperate to get his phone repaired, he thought, that he’d probably do almost anything the person in front of him suggested, but sending it off was probably the one thing that simply was not an option.

That would take even longer than 24 hours, he knew, and probably several days at the least instead, which would mean that he’d not only failed to call Levi after their date like he’d promised, but he’d ignored him for half a week, too, suggesting that he was indeed not interested in dating him and had lied to him just because he’d wanted to have sex. The thought was so harrowing that he had to pause to run a hand through his hair and take a deep breath before he continued, trying to get a hold of himself so he wouldn’t take it out on the hapless employee while she wrinkled her nose at him.

“Well, did you back it up?” She asked before he could say anything else, raising an eyebrow when Erwin looked at her with his eyes widened. 

“Ah—

“No? That blows, man. You really should have backed it up. And you probably need to get a waterproof case, too.”

“I’m aware of that now, thank you.” Erwin replied, his tone remaining clipped because he really did not need this girl to state the obvious. 

“Have you called the number before?”

“Yes.”

“We might can get it off of your bill, but it looks like you just paid it so we won’t have that information until the next billing cycle.”

“When is that?”

“Next month.” Erwin was told, while being watched warily as if the salesperson suspected he was about to explode or something. 

He felt like he could, honestly, but he didn’t because, in the end, this mess wasn’t anyone else’s fault but his own, and it wouldn’t be fair to take it out on some other innocent party no matter  _ how  _ unhelpful they were being. 

“So, what you’re telling me is that there’s nothing I can do today, is that right?” Erwin asked then, now finding that he just wanted to know one way or the other so that he could get the hell out of the store.

The cacophony of noises and chattering was not helping with his tension, he thought, and if he wasn’t going to be able to call Levi that day he wanted to go home so that he could try to come up with another plan — and mope in peace,  _ alone _ , if it came to that — wondering if he could find something else on the internet or another store that  _ wasn’t  _ a chain that might could help him.

“Yeah, pretty much. I’d say your best bet is to leave it in the rice. Check it tomorrow and maybe it’ll turn on, and hopefully all the information will still be there. Do you want to get another phone to use while you wait?”

_ Damn it. _ Erwin thought, supposing that he had no choice even though he’d barely thought about the fact that he was without a cell phone in regards to other, more everyday things.

He needed one, he knew, even if he was more worried about whether he was going to lose the opportunity to date Levi or not, and relented, eventually leaving the store with his bowl of rice and a new — hopefully  _ temporary  _ — cell phone. Normally, purchasing one would have put him in a good mood for the rest of the day because  _ everyone  _ enjoyed new electronics, but instead he went home feeling defeated and melancholy, wondering what kind of grave sins he could have possibly committed to end up in a situation like this. How had he gone from feeling like the luckiest man in the world to the  _ un _ luckiest in less than 12 hours? It was unfortunate, and despite putting his brain — which was normally rather decent at solving problems — up to the task, he wasn’t able to come up with any other  _ doable  _ solutions.

It wasn’t that he didn’t have ideas, though, because he did. They just weren’t good ones, he thought, or ones that would work that day, because going around to every hospital in the county to try and find Levi was unfeasible, and hiring a pilot to fly a plane with a gigantic banner behind it that read ‘I’m sorry Levi, I can explain. Please call me. Erwin.’ was over the top and expensive — about $1,000.00, he learned, because he  _ did  _ look it up out of absolute desperation. His only option right then seemed to involve just  _ sitting  _ and  _ waiting  _ for the rice to do its job and  _ hoping  _ he would be able to access his information the next day, all things that he could do, of course, but that were just making his despondent mood grow worse. 

With every single hour that passed, in fact, Erwin felt more and more awful at the thought of Levi waiting for a call that wasn’t going to come, a horrible, guilt-laden cloud hanging above his head that wouldn’t go away because of what he was surely going to think: that Erwin didn’t care or that he wasn’t interested in him after all, and that everything he’d done on their date had been because he’d just wanted to fuck him and nothing more than that. If their situations were reversed, Erwin thought, he knew he would be terribly disappointed and hurt at having been treated in such a careless way — especially by someone who he had feelings for, and who he had put his trust into to do the complete opposite of that. He would experience insecurity too, wondering if he had done something wrong or whether he had ever had a chance to begin with, but more than that, he knew, there would be anger and resentment towards the person who had made him feel so bad in the first place.

As such, by the time he’d called it a night and miserably crawled into his bed, he was quite sure that Levi now hated him, a thought that made him feel like a lance had just been driven right through his heart. He didn’t want that, not at all, nor did he want to be the source of any anguish he might experience as a result, as although it might have been wishful thinking on his part to assume that Levi was even actually torn up about it at all, he still did not want to come across as someone who didn’t fulfill his promises, not to a person who had made such a deep impression on him virtually overnight.

Erwin wasn’t sure how it had happened so fast, but it had, and whenever he pictured Levi he experienced an almost overwhelming surge of emotion. His heart fluttered, of course, and his stomach twisted into nervous, excited knots, and although now it was just making his trepidation and despair at possibly having ruined things that much worse, he still couldn’t stop thinking about him. He’d just been so captivating, Erwin thought, in every single way possible, from the smooth sound of his voice and the careful way in which he chose his words — which left Erwin hanging onto every syllable — to the way that he’d held onto him when reaching that single moment of ecstasy, his arms clinging and his face pressing into Erwin’s neck as he trembled, all as if he didn’t want to let go and revealing the  _ tiniest  _ allusion to vulnerability, one that made Erwin’s heart twinge and that deeply contrasted with the guarded way in which he normally held himself. 

His eyes, too — bright and sharp, so that Erwin felt stunned enough when he looked at him that it was like he’d been pierced by a knife — hinted at some sort of smoldering, internal fire that he kept hidden behind cool looks and a calm demeanor, an inkling of a strong will and a certainty in himself and what he wanted that Erwin could respect and only desired to know better. He wanted to drown in it, in fact, even though he had not known Levi that long, like he’d been put under a spell, and given the chance, he wasn’t sure that he would ever want to break it or come up for air.

Even the way he tasted — everywhere, Erwin thought, not just the inside of his mouth but between his legs too — was intoxicating, the salty hints of sweat he’d kissed off his skin actually sweet on his tongue, and with the way he looked, he knew without a doubt that Levi was one of the most beautiful things he’d ever had the privilege of having between his sheets. He’d found himself enraptured, somehow, after learning more about him at dinner and then experiencing what he considered to be one of the most special, intimate things you could do with someone while in his arms, and the thought that he might  _ not  _ want to do everything he possibly could to see Levi again for a repeat of everything was absolutely ludicrous.

In short, Erwin thought, he was fairly certain that Levi was someone he could see himself happy with even if he had technically only scratched the surface of what he was like, but he just felt as if he knew and like he was drawn to him somehow, as why else would he be so down and morose at the possibility that he might have ruined things between them already? He couldn’t think of another reason for why he ached to see Levi again so badly — to even just talk to him, so he could hear his voice — and he cursed himself for how clumsy he’d been, wondering why he had even put his phone in such a precarious position in the first place.

The vehemence with which he felt angry at himself was almost absurd because it seemed like something so small, but it had turned out to have tremendous effects, and Erwin simply could not understand why he’d had such bad luck. Had he done something terrible in a past life to deserve this, he wondered? Had he caused the deaths of hundreds of people, or was this some kind of cosmic sign that he just didn’t deserve it, that he was doomed to live his life devoid of any kind of fulfillment whatsoever?

Probably, he mused with increasing pessimism, somehow managing to remind himself amid all of his low brooding thoughts that he  _ did  _ still have the tiniest fraction of hope left, as his phone was not officially down for the count, not yet, anyway, and there was a chance that by midday tomorrow it would be working again and he would have Levi’s number. Although he felt bad about not being able to call him when he was supposed to and guilty because of what Levi was surely thinking, he would understand, wouldn’t he, if Erwin explained to him what happened?

He liked to think so because Levi had  _ seemed  _ reasonable on first glance, but really, he had to admit that he did not actually have that much of an idea. He wasn’t sure, he thought, and for all he knew Levi didn’t even feel as strongly for him as he’d hoped in the first place and wasn’t actually bothered by his silence, but he couldn’t bear to think like that when he was already feeling so defeated about everything else. Instead, he tried to not be so cynical and to just wish for the rice to do it’s job and for the best when he woke up, rolling over so that he could get some rest — all of his fretting had given him an awful headache — and somehow managing to fall asleep after, even though he maybe shouldn’t because of what might happen, finding a small, single ounce of warm comfort in the fact that his pillow and his sheets still happened to smell a bit like Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'd like to take credit for comparing levi's eyes to knives but i can't because [erwin literally said that himself.](https://twitter.com/emica50/status/857962869379309570)
> 
> also i changed the title a bit because i realized that if it ends well its actually not a tragedy :P thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hi, Levi.” Erwin said after a few seconds of silence — 3 terribly long ones that made Levi wonder if he had actually left a voicemail at all or not — his voice sounding out loud in his kitchen, as rich as he remembered it being and so warm that it made his stupid, traitorous knees weak.
> 
> “It’s me, Erwin.” He continued, slowly. “I hope you haven’t forgotten me. I...ah, I’m sorry that I didn’t call you after we went out. I wanted to, and even if I know you most likely don’t want to hear from me now, I was hoping I could explain what happened. It sounds stupid, but the morning after you left I knocked my phone into the...into the toilet. I lost your number and was only just now able to get it back, and I….I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you this entire time. I’d still like to see you again, or to at least have a chance to apologize to you, but I understand if you don’t want that. If you do, though, or if you can stand to hear me out for even just a few minutes, you can call me back at this number. If not….well, then goodbye, Levi.”

Two and a half weeks, Levi thought; 17 days. 

That, plus an additional 6 hours, was how much time had passed since his date with Erwin, since he’d thought he’d found the perfect guy only to discover not even half a day later that he didn’t actually exist. No, he’d decided, the considerate, kind,  _ attentive  _ man he’d gone out to dinner with was not real, and he was completely convinced that it had been nothing but a front put up by an actual _ bastard  _ to make himself look good. 

Not that it mattered anymore, though, because Levi was over it. Completely, irrevocably, and without a doubt no longer bothered by any stupid, stubborn leftover feelings from that night, as he had realized by then that he’d probably actually lucked out and been spared a lot of bullshit anyway — or at least, he thought, that was what he  _ wanted  _ to believe.

In reality, Levi was anything  _ but  _ cured of the hurt and disappointment he’d experienced after Erwin — the handsome, gentle Erwin that he’d developed very strong feelings for practically overnight — had left him hanging, the frustration and resentment it induced not at all helping with his increasingly desperate attempts to just  _ stop  _ fucking dwelling on it. He wanted to, he thought, because he both hated and didn’t understand why he couldn’t stop thinking about Erwin when he  _ knew  _ he was an asshole, and when he’d tried everything he could think of to distract himself — including deleting every trace of Erwin’s contact information, and throwing himself into as many fast-paced, disorderly ER shifts at the hospital as he could.

He’d worked 12 hour days 9 times in a row, in fact, until he’d been too burnt out and sleep-deprived to continue without a break, and then switched to diligently cleaning his apartment to keep himself busy instead, going through and making sure the entire thing was completely spotless over the course of another week when he wasn’t nursing. Even after all of that, though, after he’d spent the better part of a month trying to forget about Erwin and how he had let him down, he still fucking couldn’t, and continued to lapse back into the negative, morose feelings he’d experienced on that first day. 

It was ridiculous, he thought, that they wouldn’t fucking go away after all this time, that he would lie in bed at night and remember the warm sound of Erwin’s laugh or how stupidly cute he’d been upon proudly ordering the chocolate cake, or the way he’d stolen Levi’s breath away with just one kiss, too, and cursed his foolish fucking heart so that it wasn’t able to understand what his more logical mind clearly could: that he was  _ never  _ going to see Erwin again and it didn’t fucking matter anyway, as he was  _ just  _ an asshole and not actually the person who had so easily swept Levi off his feet in the span of just a few hours. 

By all accounts, he tried to tell himself, he shouldn’t want him at all after he’d realized that and been hurt so bad as a result, but he did and he almost felt like he missed Erwin, too, like he’d made such an impression on Levi that night that it still made him feel disappointed and dejected to think that...well, that he hadn’t quite been as lucky as he’d thought in the coffee shop when Erwin had asked him out in the first place. Thinking about it like that still made his chest ache, he thought, with a dismal emptiness that had lead to him experiencing into a lingering, frustrated melancholy that seemed to hang over him like a dark cloud, his low mood certainly not helped by the fact that he sometimes found himself daydreaming about Erwin when he was at work and not busy. 

Before he could even stop himself his thoughts would fucking turn to his phone ringing, his imagination conjuring up visions of what could happen if Erwin  _ did  _ suddenly call him again and apologize, the traitorous  _ want  _ he had for such a thing persisting so badly that he even dreamed about it in his sleep. When that happened, Erwin always had a good excuse for his extended silence and Levi  _ always  _ fell for it and took his clothes off for him again, but rather than end with Erwin showing his true colors, Levi always woke up before he could, with his head pillowed on Erwin’s chest comfortably while he was wrapped in his arms. In those moments he felt content before he opened his eyes and was forced to face reality, and while he  _ was  _ glad that he didn’t have to relive how awful he’d felt when Erwin hadn’t called, he didn’t really appreciate the fucking reminder of how  _ nice _ things were when he’d been with him either, as that just led to him idly wondering what might happen if Erwin suddenly did contact him all over again. 

It was like he was caught in some kind of hellish circle, he thought, doomed to forever be stuck thinking about this guy who he  _ should  _ be sure he was better off without. Why couldn't he just let it go? Why couldn't he get over it and fucking move on with his life? He didn't know, and it pissed him off because it wasn't like he'd been in an  _ actual _ relationship with Erwin. He'd been on only one date with him, in fact, and while it had been a good date, yeah, he shouldn't feel like he'd just experienced a heartrending breakup over someone who he technically barely knew, and who he was certain he would refuse to see again anyway even if Erwin  _ did _ happen to eventually call. 

Doing so would be stupid, he knew, as he would just be setting himself up to be made a fool of all over again, because there were very few excuses he could think of that might be able to convince him Erwin wasn't a piece of shit. In fact, the only one he'd really accept, he thought, was if Erwin had been hospitalized this entire time in some ICU where he wasn't well enough to use a phone, but Levi knew for a fact that wasn't the case, as he'd used the county-wide hospital database at his work to search Erwin's name so that he could see whether he'd been admitted recently or not. 

He'd also tried to look him up on social media too until he'd felt pathetic enough to stop before he managed to find anything, all but throwing his phone in disgust from where he’d been lying on the couch so that he could angrily bury himself under a blanket. He was such a fucking  _ idiot _ , he thought sourly, for even having entertained the idea that Erwin might actually be interested in anything meaningful with him in the first place, because why would he be? He was nothing but a short, boring,  _ cold  _ person anyway who didn’t know how to express his emotions, and he should have known that this would go the same way as everything else in his life did. 

Although his self-pity made him feel fucking sick, Levi could not help but have thoughts like that anyway at his lowest points, as Erwin’s attentions — addicting, apparently, even after just experiencing them once — and then the absence of them had triggered a bout of loneliness that he couldn’t seem to shake. It had made it all too apparent, he thought, that the only thing he did was work and come home to a quiet, empty apartment and nothing or no one else, and by the time the two and a half weeks since all of this bullshit had started began to turn into 3, Levi was wondering if the only thing that might help him forget Erwin completely was alcohol.

A large bottle of wine certainly would have gone well with the dinner he’d just finished eating — made for only one, of course — and he wished he’d thought of that earlier, as going to the store now would be a hassle that he wasn’t sure he wanted to deal with. Still, though, it might be worth it if he ended up feeling numb and carefree for just one night so that he could actually enjoy the rest of his evening or something, and after deciding quickly, Levi went back to his bedroom to find his jacket. He’d just thrown it on and started to locate his shoes, however, when he suddenly stopped because he heard his phone start ringing from the other room, the sound of it unmistakable, he thought, with the loud buzzing that came from it vibrating on the counter every second or so practically echoing throughout his apartment. 

Who the fuck was calling him, he thought with absolutely no hope that it might be Erwin whatsoever, at 9:12 P.M. on a Friday? 

Praying to himself that it wasn’t work — he didn’t want to go in now, he’d rather be at home — Levi hurried into his kitchen, reaching out to grab the phone but immediately stopping and freezing in place when he saw what number was on the screen. 

_ What the fuck? _ He thought, eyes widening. It  _ was  _ Erwin. Or at least, it was the number Erwin had given him at the coffee shop that fateful day, as even though he’d deleted it, Levi had spent enough time agonizing over the bastard to remember his digits. 

Why was he calling, though? Was it really him? It had to be, he knew, as the chances of some other person somehow acquiring this number in the span of three weeks and then randomly contacting him like this were pretty low, and before he could help himself, Levi felt his heart skip a beat at the thought of hearing Erwin’s voice again. Reaching out once more, he moved again as if to answer the phone, his fingers getting so far as to brush against the phone screen this time before he abruptly stopped, drawing back with a dark frown as if he’d seen something awful. 

No.  _ No.  _ Picking up would be  _ stupid _ , he thought, and he was determined not to make a fool of himself again, as what the fuck could Erwin honestly be calling him for now? It had been almost 3 goddamn weeks since their date and the night they’d fucked, and why should Levi entertain whatever bullshit he’d decided to suddenly share with him out of the blue? Why should he roll over like a dog, and basically throw himself at Erwin as if he hadn’t spent the better part of a month feeling like shit because of him, and honestly, what kind of bastard did this? Did he just not care about fucking with people’s lives?

Levi tried to get himself to believe that Erwin didn’t and refrained from answering the phone call, but that did not mean he didn’t scoop it up a minute later after he’d waited, staring to see whether or not he would leave a voicemail, when he received the notification that he had a message, opening the damned thing and playing it through his speakers more quickly than he had ever managed to do in his entire fucking life. 

_ “Hi, Levi.” _ Erwin said after a few seconds of silence — 3 terribly long ones that made Levi wonder if he had actually left a voicemail at all or not — his voice sounding out loud in his kitchen, as rich as he remembered it being and so warm that it made his stupid, traitorous knees weak. 

_ “It’s me, Erwin.”  _ He continued, slowly. _ “I hope you haven’t forgotten me. I...ah, I’m sorry that I didn’t call you after we went out. I wanted to, and even if I know you most likely don’t want to hear from me now, I was hoping I could explain what happened.  _

_ It sounds stupid, but the morning after you left I knocked my phone into the...into the toilet. I lost your number and was only just now able to get it back, and I….I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you this entire time. I’d still like to see you again, or to at least have a chance to apologize to you, but I understand if you don’t want that. If you do, though, or if you can stand to hear me out for even just a few minutes, you can call me back at this number. If not….well, then goodbye, Levi.” _

For a moment after Erwin’s voicemail ended, Levi continued to just stare at his phone in silence. Then, after that, he replayed the message again, and again and again until he’d heard it five times and he was able to comprehend what Erwin was saying.

_ What the fuck?  _ He thought. He’d dropped his  _ phone  _ in the  _ toilet _ ? That was just about the stupidest, most fucking half-witted and moronic excuse that he could think of, and yet, despite his first instinct being not to believe that pile of horseshit, the rest of Erwin’s message had been so sweet. He’d sounded sincere and regretful and his voice had taken on a gloomy, solemn sounding tone when he’d said goodbye to him at the end, and even though Levi quickly reminded himself that he’d also believed Erwin’s nice guy act in the first place, he couldn’t help but wonder if he  _ was  _ actually telling the truth.

Surely if he wasn’t he’d be able to come up with something better than that explain why he hadn’t called, right, because what kind of fucking idiot would even believe that shit? Apparently  _ he  _ would, he realized with a grimace, because he was already thinking about calling Erwin back, about ‘hearing him out’ as he’d said despite all rationality telling him that he shouldn’t. He didn’t want to get hurt again, he thought, not at all and with a trepidation that came to him almost automatically, like it was instinctual, and the logical part of his mind knew that the only way to ensure that didn’t happen was to delete Erwin’s message and to continue trying to forget about him.

With some luck he would, he knew, at least  _ eventually,  _ and he could get back to normal and feel like his old self again, but right then, of course, the thought did not sound as appealing as it should when he had the chance to continue his life with Erwin in it too. That’s what his heart was telling him this was, he thought, biting his lip while still staring at his phone, because  _ if  _ Erwin wasn’t lying to him than that would mean he  _ was  _ sincere, sincere in the message he’d just left him and sincere in everything he’d told Levi the night of their date, something that make his heart pound in his chest rapidly and his skin flush with a tingly, excited warmth just to think about. 

Even as he chided himself for it, though — it was premature and he was being fucking foolish again for even  _ pondering  _ this in a hopeful manner — he knew that discarding Erwin’s message and ignoring him right then would ensure that he’d never find out, and that he would miss any opportunity he might have had to gain back something that he’d thought he’d lost. Was it worth the risk of more disappointment, he wondered? Could he live with himself if he didn’t at least  _ try  _ to find out the truth, and deal with never knowing whether he missed out on a chance to actually end up dating Erwin or not?

Probably, he thought with finality, but he didn’t want to.

Swallowing, he decided that listening to what Erwin had to say wouldn’t hurt, as after all, just because he called him back didn’t mean Levi had to make a decision right then on whether to see him again or not. That was what he  _ really  _ would need to think about, he knew, but when it came down to it, regardless of what he could say, Levi didn’t want to automatically say no without hearing his full explanation of events first. 

Should he call Erwin right then, though? What if he texted him instead? Although that made him feel less nervous about all of this, Levi didn’t really feel like he could get a sense of what Erwin was thinking without hearing his voice. Also, he didn’t want to wait because he’d spent three fucking weeks dealing with this shit and he was tired of it, and so he just went into the other room, aiming to sit down on the couch but ending up standing and pacing instead as he took a deep breath and hit ‘return call’ on his phone’s voice message screen.

His stomach trembled with jittery nerves as he did so, and he didn’t have much time to brace himself for this before Erwin answered; he picked up almost right away, in fact, after the second ring.

_ “Hello?”  _ He said quietly, the sound of his voice — yet again — causing Levi to freeze and his heart to jump up into his throat. 

Opening his mouth, he paused for a second without responding, his racing thoughts causing him to experience a brief moment of intense doubt before he managed to shake his head, ignoring it for the moment so that he could continue. “....yeah. Erwin?”

_ “Yes, it’s me. How are you, Levi? Did you get my message?” _

“Yeah.”

_ “I’m sorry that I’m just now calling you.” _

“I heard.”

_ “Ah...are you angry with me?” _

“I was pretty pissed, yeah.”

_ “I’m sorry. I feel terrible.” _

“You promised me you’d call, you know, and I didn’t let you fuck me so you could treat me like shit. Do you think I’m an idiot?”

_ “No. No, Levi...I know.” _ Erwin said, speaking slowly to him over the phone before pausing. Obviously, Levi thought, he’d picked up on his icy tone — adopted because he was certainly not about to let his guard down, not this time, and he wanted Erwin to know how he’d made him feel no matter what — and seemed to be thinking carefully about what he said next. For that Levi was glad, of course, but despite the fact that he probably looked nonchalant, on the inside his belly was twisting with anxiousness and the silence between them on the line was deafening.  _ “I know I made a promise to you too, and I really did want to call you. I tried, actually, but when I went to get my phone the next morning that was when I knocked it into the toilet.” _

Levi couldn’t retain his scoff when Erwin, despite the situation, let out a low, self-disparaging chuckle as if he was acknowledging what an idiot he’d been. “That’s a shitty excuse. You expect me to buy that?”

_ “I don’t know. I was hoping you would. I’d still like to see you again, if you’ll let me.” _

Grimacing at how Erwin’s words made his heart skip happily — and thankful that Erwin couldn’t see him, as this would be  _ infinitely  _ harder than it already was if he could — Levi shook his head and swallowed his feelings down again, squeezing his eyes shut and trying not to let his thoughts get away from him before he continued. “Yeah, you want to see me so much that it took you three fucking weeks to call me back.”

_ “I lost your number.” _ Erwin said, his tone — up until right then, fairly even — suddenly revealing just a  _ hint  _ of something else. What was it? Desperation?  _ “The water ruined my phone. I lost everything, and I wasn’t able to get it back until tonight. I tried everything I could.” _

“Like what?”

_ “Well, I let it sit in rice. I took it to the store. I sent it off to three different places to try and get everything restored, which is why it took so long. I went back to the coffee shop to try and find you there while it was gone, too, but I suppose you decided to stop going.” _

“Yeah. I haven’t been back.”

_ “I don’t blame you, and I knew there was a chance that you wouldn’t even want to talk to me. I couldn’t not try, though.” _

“Why not?” Levi asked bluntly, finding that he didn’t have the patience for speculation and conjecture, and that he wanted to hear Erwin’s honest answer to that question before he even thought about making any kind of decision. 

_ “Because. _ ” Erwin responded right away, the quickness with which he replied  _ certainly  _ not a bad thing.  _ “I really like you, Levi. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since the last time I saw you, like I said. I know that we really don’t know each other that well, but you’re….well, you’re amazing, and I already miss you. I enjoyed our date. I liked being with you, and I want to take you out again. I want to take you out as many times as I can after that, too, if you’ll forgive me. I-  _

“How do I know you aren’t just saying all this shit because you want to fuck me again?”

_ “Because we don’t have to do that. We can do whatever you’re comfortable with, in fact. To be honest, I was going to ask if you wanted to meet at the coffee shop to just talk so that I could tell you all of this. I hadn’t planned on saying so much over the phone.” _

“Why?”

_ “I suppose I was hoping that there might be a better chance of you believing me if I explained it to you in person.” _

Snorting at that, Levi stared at his floor and thought. From what he had just heard, a large part of him believed what Erwin was saying, as although he  _ did  _ find his excuse to still be fucking stupid, he wasn’t able to deny that it did seem credible. More than that, he knew, it made sense and it wasn’t  _ outlandish _ , and Erwin had sounded pretty beat down over the phone about all of it, so much so that Levi now felt a little bad about how curt and indifferent he’d been. Sure, he’d adopted that attitude because he wanted to protect himself, yeah, but if Erwin  _ was  _ telling the truth, if this was what  _ really  _ happened and he was being honest about his feelings — the things he’d just said to him heartwarmingly reminiscent of how sweet he’d been the night of their date — then Levi did not want to make him feel guilty for it.

Instead, he wanted to forgive him because Erwin had just told him things that rendered him flushed and out of breath and almost speechless from how much his heart was fluttering in his chest, but he had not yet gotten rid of all his doubt. There was some worry remaining too, and trepidation because he did not want to end up going through what he had before all over again, fearing deep down that if he opened up to Erwin and put his trust in him once more he would end up  _ twice  _ as hurt this time,  _ twice  _ as disappointed and foolish for thinking that it would actually manage to turn out differently.

Asking him to take that chance was a lot, he felt, but the gravity in Erwin’s words seemed to indicate that he wasn’t taking this lightly, either. He spoke like he understood how shitty he’d made Levi feel and what he had done to him — inadvertently or not — and acted like was incredibly guilty because of it, but what if it was the same thing that Levi had been convinced of before: an act?

That seemed ridiculous though, he thought. Why would Erwin go through all of this just for another quick, meaningless fuck, especially when Levi was pretty sure he could go to any random bar and  _ easily  _ find someone else to sleep with because he was so good looking? Unless he was some kind of sick piece of shit who just wanted to mess with Levi in particular, he thought, then he probably wouldn’t, and even someone who’d been through what he had could admit that Erwin being  _ that  _ kind of crazy was unlikely. Biting his lip, Levi finally sat down on his couch at that, untensing a bit and leaning back into the pillows after he realized that all of his thoughts, all of the potential answers to the questions he had were essentially leading to just one thing.

“I’m off tomorrow.” He said then, dismissing one last ounce of remaining hesitance and thinking that despite everything, despite the anger and frustration and melancholy he’d experienced over the past few weeks, he really, really,  _ really  _ did want to see Erwin in person again too.  “I’ll be at the coffee shop around noon.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m sorry about what happened, Levi.”
> 
> “Yeah.”
> 
> “I really am.”
> 
> “I know. You said that.”
> 
> “I’ll tell you a hundred times if I have to, you know. Are you still angry?”

There weren’t many times in Erwin’s life where he’d been so nervous that he feared he might throw up, but the moment he was currently experiencing had  _ definitely  _ turned out to be one of those times. 

He was on edge and almost jittery, he thought, because of what he was about to do, because after nearly three, long, agonizing weeks of trying to get Levi’s number back — the days marked by continual failures that had plagued his conscious heavily the entire time — he’d finally gotten it and succeeded in contacting him, and had somehow been lucky enough to get Levi to agree to meet him again in person. He’d proposed the time himself, in fact, at the end of the desperate phone call Erwin had placed as soon as he’d gotten his restored data, and although Levi hadn’t said so specifically, Erwin was quite sure that this was the last and only chance he was going to get.

Thankfully, he certainly wasn’t foolish enough to  _ not  _ recognize the opportunity for what it was — even if he was foolish enough to drop his phone into the toilet — and had told Levi immediately that he would be there and that he was looking forward to it, finding himself parked outside the coffee shop he and Levi had first met at and sitting in his car at 11:52 A.M. as a result. He was several minutes early, of course, as Levi had told him he’d be there at noon, but arriving late was out of the question, and he’d gotten up at nearly dawn that morning to prepare for the meeting he was going to have with him later. Was Levi already there though, Erwin wondered, waiting for him at a table? Would he even show up? What if he changed his mind?

Erwin would not blame him if he did, he thought, because he wasn’t even sure that he would ever be able to forgive  _ himself  _ for his reckless, deplorable actions much less expect Levi to, and felt that it was a lot less likely to happen than it had been when only two or three days of silence had passed —  _ especially  _ when it was now clear to him from their short telephone conversation that what he’d feared all this time was true: he’d really hurt Levi. He’d made him feel unwanted, he knew, and taken advantage of, while Erwin, on the other hand, came across as nothing but a self-seeking, fiendish and chauvinistic  _ pig _ , and because of that, he was now certain that he’d be very, very lucky if he managed to ever get Levi to trust him again. 

The task almost seemed impossible, in fact, and to him, whatever negative feelings and anger Levi had towards him was justified so why  _ should  _ he forgive him? He’d been careless, he knew, terribly irresponsible and thoughtless by drowning his phone in toilet water at the worst possible time, and although it  _ had  _ been an accident, technically, Erwin did not think it mattered — not when there were so many things he could have done to prevent it, anyway, and not when all of them were so devastatingly  _ simple  _ that he couldn’t stand it, finding it hard to believe sometimes that he even deserved someone as incredible as Levi in the first place just because of the sheer stupidity that he’d exhibited in failing to take precautions. 

All he’d had to do, he knew, to prevent this long silence from happening would have been to write down Levi’s number, to take a pen and a piece of paper and save it somewhere else besides where he had stored it on his phone. It would have taken less than a minute to do, he’d thought many, many,  _ many  _ times, and even if he hadn’t done that, he could have at least backed up his data, or used a waterproof case to protect the delicate device from even getting fried like that to begin with. Thinking about it like that had led to him being quite down over the past few weeks, naturally, causing him to curse himself and his foolishness every day for what he’d done,  _ hating  _ himself too, really, because of how he had surely tread over Levi’s all-important feelings. 

Sometimes, his negative thinking had gotten so bad that he hadn’t even wanted to look at his reflection in the mirror, knowing that if he did, all he would see was someone who couldn’t do anything right, someone who had let something  _ incredible  _ slip away because of a stupid, ridiculous mistake that had made him hurt another person in the process. With thoughts like that, it was no wonder that Erwin’s guilt weighed heavier and heavier on his shoulders with each passing day, and a few stressful classes at work combined with the sheer  _ frustration  _ at not being able to get his phone restored had just compounded onto his low, demoralized mood even further, as every single thing he tried had failed to work, and by the time he’d finally gotten a breakthrough, he had almost started to wonder if he should just give up hope.

Any longer, he’d thought, and he wasn’t sure there would be any point in even trying to reach out to Levi once more anyway — he probably had already moved on, Erwin often told himself dejectedly — but still, it was the prospect that  _ something  _ might work that kept him from giving up completely, the thought that he might get Levi’s number back, be forgiven for his mistakes, and allowed to rest his eyes on him again in person continuing to provide him the motivation he needed to get up and  _ solve _ the problem. He did his best not to think about how it seemed impossible for him to ever have a stroke of luck again while he did so, too, as so much bad had happened to him already despite his efforts, but eventually,  _ thankfully _ , he  _ did  _ catch a break, and now, after what had seemed like some kind of grueling, long-winded journey, he was about to have Levi across from him again so that he could try to undo his mistakes.

The thought of rejection was what caused him to be so nervous for it, though, his trepidation far worse than it had been when he had first asked Levi out to dinner to begin with or whether or not he could kiss him, as by then, he’d already gotten to know him some, had gotten a glimpse of how special and warm and  _ endearing  _ Levi was on the inside and realized that he was someone who he  _ knew  _ could make him happy and that he could see himself with in the future. Even after just one date and one night spent together in bed Erwin was sure of it, and the fact that he hadn’t been able to forget after three weeks and still wanted it so strongly just made him all the more certain that it was right. 

As much he felt that, though, he unfortunately did not have confirmation that Levi agreed — much less that he would be willing to let Erwin take him out again and try not to ruin things this time. All he had done so far was accept Erwin’s invitation to meet in public so that they could talk about the prospect more, but no matter how low he still thought his odds might be, he already knew he was going to do whatever it took to show Levi that he was sincere when he said he wanted him, to prove that he hadn’t intended to treat him so badly and that he would never,  _ ever _ do anything like that to him again. With luck, he thought, Levi would believe him and accept his apology so that they could put all of this behind them and move on, but considering how up and down his fortunes had been for the past month, Erwin was just finding it more difficult to shake his nerves and despair than normal.   

Still, though, he wouldn't dream of letting those things get the better of him. With that in mind — and the thought of how happy he would be instead if Levi still wanted to give things a shot — Erwin ignored his concerns about what might happen or whether Levi would show, deciding that he should go ahead and walk inside the coffee shop so that if he did, Levi wouldn't get there and wonder the same thing about him. Gathering the papers he'd brought with him and the two other packages he’d brought for Levi — flowers and chocolate cake — Erwin swallowed and checked his hair in the overhead mirror one last time before he made his way towards the shop, his heart pounding so hard in his chest while he did so that it was probably a miracle it wasn’t echoing around the parking lot.

His stomach was doing flips while he walked, too, nauseating ones that almost made him feel like he couldn’t catch his breath, the tension in his shoulders just continuing to grow the closer and closer he got to the building. What if Levi really  _ wasn’t  _ going to come? What if he  _ hated  _ Erwin and it was beyond reproach to think that he’d be forgiven, and Levi had lied and told him he’d show up just to give him a taste of his own medicine? Thinking about it, Erwin did not actually believe that Levi would do such a thing or that he was cruel like that — if he did, he wouldn’t have fallen for him like this — but he still felt uncharacteristically anxious about everything, finding himself having to go over in his mind the things that he planned to say to Levi when he saw him again so that he would maintain his determination and not forget.

Unfortunately, though, despite the fact that he was repeating it like a mantra, all words and actions escaped Erwin when he walked into the door and immediately saw Levi standing a few feet away, his apprehension _ at least  _ disappearing too because all he could suddenly feel was relief and happiness at the fact that Levi had shown up and was truly willing to hear Erwin out. He was right there, Erwin thought, standing to the side and reading a piece of paper, and after worrying at times that he would never, ever get to see him again, Erwin could not help but feel overjoyed. Beneath that too, he realized a moment later, there was also a deep longing, a swell of it erupting inside of him so suddenly that all he wanted to do was walk over and soothingly pull Levi up into his arms. That was the only way to cure the lonely ache that had developed inside Erwin’s chest from the long absence he’d had from him by then, but obviously, he knew that doing something like that right then was out of the question.

He couldn’t touch Levi, he thought, or hold his hand, or pour out his fervent feelings for him in a kiss or tell him how captivating he looked right then — strands of his hair had swept attractively over his brow while he read, Erwin had noticed, while the dark, delicate set of his eyelashes stood out against his pale cheeks — because he had to wait, to earn the right to do that again after he had so carelessly thrown it away by committing a grievous mistake. Also, he reminded himself as an afterthought, he had to stop staring because he’d been standing there for at least five seconds and this wasn’t the time for that, as it would be disrespectful considering the circumstances, and Erwin was not foolish enough to think that he could get away with showing Levi the complete and utter opposite of that before he had been handed his forgiveness. 

Thankfully, Levi did not seem to notice that he was looking at him like that though, only realizing that Erwin had even walked in when the barista suddenly saw him and gave him an abrupt greeting.

“Mr. Smith! How are you? It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you here.” She said with a smile, her voice causing Levi to stiffen and glance over at him sharply.

For a brief moment, his eyes widened when they landed on Erwin as if he’d been startled, the thoughtful expression that had been on his face while he read suddenly containing the slightest hint of bewilderment. Before Erwin could say anything, though, before he could  _ do  _ anything but smile hopefully at Levi in the hopes that all of this would go well, he turned away, scowling as he did so and hastily heading towards an open table at the back of the shop. 

“Yes.” Erwin replied to the barista then, now feeling his heart sink a bit at the reaction Levi had just exhibited upon seeing him.

“He’s having tea. Do you want your usual coffee, extra sugar?” She asked next, nodding when Erwin responded with a ‘yes’ almost automatically because needless to say, right then, he honestly did not care.

“Please.”

“Alright, I’ll have it right to you. Do you want a muffin or anything?

“No, not today.”

“Gotcha. I’ll bring it out to you guys when it's ready.”

“Thank you.” 

Pausing after that exchange, Erwin briefly wondered if he should follow Levi, immediately realizing that yes, he definitely should, because even if he was unsure about how much of a welcome sight he’d been to him right then, he had  _ at least _ not yelled at Erwin or tried to punch him out. That was a good thing, right? He tried to think so as he stepped forward with his brow furrowed a bit, almost forcing himself to stay positive so that he wouldn’t sabotage himself by assuming the worst, and took a deep breath when he got closer, seating himself across from Levi at the table he’d picked out and then clearing his throat so he could speak. 

“Hello.” He said, setting down what he'd brought with him — the gifts, as it had seemed unfathomable to show up without any — when he saw Levi's eyes dart over them quickly. “This is for you.”

“Chocolate cake?” Levi murmured when Erwin gestured to the first package — a large, square box from the restaurant they’d went to before that did indeed contain a slice of chocolate cake.

It had been purchased there, of course, just an hour ago before Erwin had made it to the coffee shop, and had been laid down beside the bouquet of flowers he’d brought for Levi too, a freshly wrapped armful of purple hyacinths, pink camellias, and white poppies that he’d taken great care into picking out at the grocer’s that morning. 

“Yes.” Erwin responded, offering Levi a small smile. “And flowers. To say I'm sorry. How have you been?”

Immediately after asking _that_ question, Erwin wished he hadn’t. He’d only been trying to be polite, he thought, but of course, he already had an inkling of how Levi had actually been all this time and it _wasn’t_ good. Reminding him of that — or inquiring like he’d been careless enough to _forget_ how awful he’d likely made Levi feel — was not going to help his case in the slightest, and he couldn’t keep the regretful expression off his face when Levi just fixed him with a very pointed look in response. 

He scoffed, too, instead of answering him right away, and leaned back in his chair so that he could cross his arms over his chest protectively. The effect made it seem to Erwin that he was putting up a wall between them, guarding himself from whatever Erwin might say or do so that he wouldn’t get hurt again, and although it wasn’t entirely unexpected, it still caused him to feel like a knife had been jabbed into his heart.

“I’m sorry.” He said again, trying to remain polite even as he worried. “I suppose that was a stupid thing to ask.” 

“Maybe.” Levi mumbled in response, eyeing Erwin for a moment before he bit his lip and then looked away. 

“Ah….” Erwin continued, swallowing as he tried to figure out what to say so that their meeting wouldn’t get awkward. It wasn’t that there was a shortage of things he wanted to tell Levi, he thought, because there were certainly many — thousands of different apologies swirled around in his head, along with an almost infinite number of ways that he could tell Levi he’d be heartbroken if this ended badly — he just wasn’t sure if he should yet, especially when he’d probably made things worse already by asking a stupid question. Thinking for a moment of how he could lighten the subject, Erwin was fortunately blessed with a reprieve when the barista came by to drop off their drinks, happening to glimpse the scrap of paper that Levi had been reading all of a sudden when he’d walked in. After laying his eyes on it, Erwin realized what it was and felt a bright spark of hope abruptly light up inside him, a small surge of confidence going through him too because of what he knew it said. “I see you found my note.”  

“Yeah.” Was Levi’s answer, his eyes following Erwin’s gaze downward to said note and then back up again. 

“Did the barista give it to you?” Erwin asked next, offering Levi a small smile when he again nodded. “I’ll have to thank her. I thought she would have thrown it away by now.”

“She handed it to me when I walked in.” 

“Good.” 

“She said you kept coming here.”

“I did. Just like I told you over the phone.”

Pausing at that, Levi bit his lip and uncrossed his arms to take a sip of his tea, his eyes leaving Erwin’s to take in the note again thoughtfully.

_ Levi.  _ Erwin knew it said, remembering how he’d hurriedly scrawled the words down on a napkin over a week and a half ago.  _ I’m so sorry I haven’t called. I know it sounds stupid, but I had an accident with my phone and I lost your number. I want to see you. Please call me if you get this. Sincerely, Erwin. _

He’d written it during one of his lowest points during the last three weeks, he thought, when he’d come to the conclusion after visiting the coffee shop for seven days straight that Levi wasn’t going to come back to it because he didn’t want to see him. There had been no other explanation for it in his mind at the time, but even after realizing it, he’d decided to leave a note  _ just  _ in case,  _ just  _ to cover all of his bases if Levi did happen to come in looking for him. If he did, Erwin thought, then the barista — who said she would give Levi the note — would be able to get a message to him, a small, short one that would at least let him know that Erwin had not left him hanging on purpose. 

“She said you always brought flowers too.”

“I did.”

“And that you told her to save a piece of chocolate cake for me.”

“Yes, I know you like it. You told me yourself: it’s your cake.” Erwin said, watching Levi carefully as he spoke. “I was hoping I’d catch you here, and we could share it.” 

“Why would I come in here?” Was his response to that, muttered in a quiet voice that somehow sounded chagrined and exasperated at the same time. 

His tone might have been disheartening, Erwin thought, if he hadn’t just found himself momentarily stunned to suddenly spot a blush growing on Levi’s cheeks — the soft hints of pink were subtle there, he realized, but it was clear — the sight of it causing his heart to flutter hopefully rather than sink down into his chest like a weight at the thought of Levi being mad at him, as if Erwin  _ had  _ made him flustered, then it was undeniable that he was at least feeling some kind of emotion towards him that wasn’t negative. 

“I don’t know. I don’t blame you for staying away, though.” Erwin responded, his eyes on Levi as he scowled at that and then glanced away. He watched him for a moment, quiet while he chewed on his thoughts, and then, because he couldn’t hold it in anymore and  _ needed  _ Levi to know: “I’m sorry about what happened, Levi.”

“Yeah.”

“I really am.”

“I know. You said that.”

“I’ll tell you a hundred times if I have to, you know. Are you still angry?” 

“I— 

Levi cut himself off almost as soon as he started, closing his mouth and then opening it again before he shook his head, a small furrow growing between his brows as he seemed to struggle with figuring out what to say. He was tense, Erwin saw too, noticing it in the set of his shoulders and in his frustrated expression, and although he was afraid the answer was going to be ‘yes’ and he absolutely  _ dreaded  _ hearing whatever terrible thoughts Levi was having about him right then, he did not want him to feel like he had to hold back.

“It’s alright. You can say it.” He said with that thought, encouraging Levi to speak his mind, knowing that just because his mistake had been an accident that he hadn’t done on purpose, it didn’t suddenly invalidate all of the hurt and frustration Levi had felt while it was happening. 

“It’s just….” Levi tried to start then, almost glaring down into his tea while he trailed off again, growing so quiet for a moment too that Erwin feared he just didn’t consider it worth it to open up to him again. Suddenly, though, thankfully enough, Levi huffed in a loud manner, apparently having made some sort of decision that allowed him to sit up straight in his chair and speak without hesitation. “I wanted to see you again, you bastard. I liked talking to you. You said you did too, but then you didn’t fucking call. I thought you meant it when you promised that shit.”

“I know.” Erwin replied, trying to not let the deep sense of guilt and sadness he felt upon hearing that overwhelm him. “But I  _ did  _ mean it. It was never my intention to treat you like that, Levi, because I wanted to see you again too. I still do, as I told you. I like you so much, I….” Erwin trailed off himself, pausing to swallow because he could feel his emotions threatening to get out of control. It was uncharacteristic of him, he thought, but this was just so  _ important  _ to him that he couldn’t help it. Knowing that he needed to be able to think clearly for this conversation, though, he took a breath and swallowed it down, managing to brace himself before he continued. “I didn’t just want to sleep with you. I didn’t want a one night stand. I knew that before we even finished dinner, but then—

“You dropped your phone into the toilet.” Levi interrupted, his tone sounding deadpan as he raised both his eyebrows and sipped his tea.

Although his sudden words and the way in which he’d just blurted them had almost stunned Erwin for a moment, he noticed right after that Levi’s face was no longer twisted into a frown. He was less tense, he saw too, as the set of his shoulders appeared to be more relaxed and he wasn’t crossing his arms, and because Erwin got the sense that what he’d just said to Levi had helped him to fell a bit better, he smiled, ruefully but in what he hoped was a warm manner nonetheless. 

“Yes.” He replied too, feeling more and more confident by the second while Levi watched him with mild interest, his steady gaze bolstering him because of the fact that he appeared to be less buttoned up. That was good, of course, because it had pained Erwin and made his heart ache to think that he would have to start over with Levi after already getting a glimpse of what he was like when he was  _ un _ buttoned, and it also helped him to continue, the thought that Levi did indeed want to hear his explanation giving him another small swell of hope. “I dropped my phone into the toilet.”

“How’d that happen? Were you reading on it while you were taking a shit or something?”

“No. No, thankfully, that isn’t what happened. I’d just taken a shower and I had left it beside the bathroom sink. After I got out I intended to call you, but when I went to grab it I knocked it into the toilet. Afterwards I put it in rice because I thought that might fix it quickly, but then I read that getting all of the water out of it could take days.”

“Yeah?”  

“Yes, so I took it to the store next. I left it in the rice just in case it  _ was _ helping some, which turned out to be good because they told me they couldn't do anything to fix it without sending it off.”

“You went to the store with your phone in a bowl of rice?”

“I did.” Erwin replied to Levi's question, feeling his heart skip a beat when he snorted too, the clear note of bemusement in his tone at how ridiculous Erwin must have looked urging him on. “And then I brought it back home like that, and tried not to think about how you were probably already hating me. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of anything else to do at that point, though, so I just hoped that the phone would be alright in the morning. Obviously, it wasn't.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“It didn't turn on again until three days had passed, but even when it did it didn't matter because all of my contacts were gone.  _ Everything _ was gone, in fact. I was quite upset about all of this at that point.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Levi said then, his words spoken in a soft tone that was punctuated immediately after by a frown. 

He glanced away, but his demeanor was now one of mournful acceptance rather than anger. Nevertheless, it still made Erwin feel bad all over again, of course, because the fact that he'd hurt Levi’s feelings was a pain in his gut that he wasn't sure he would ever get rid of, and he suddenly wanted to touch him again, to grab his hand from where he'd placed it onto the table in an effort to show him some comfort. Instead, though, he refrained and then lost his chance anyway when Levi shifted to throw his arm over the back of the chair casually, his feelings of longing still so powerful that he couldn't help but say something else regardless.

“I missed you, Levi.” He murmured, finding himself hanging by a thread for a moment while waiting for Levi's response. 

Would this be it, he wondered? Had he said enough? Was Levi going to respond well to that and give him confirmation that they could put this behind them? Although Erwin certainly had hope, it seemed that he was just not there quite yet, as Levi only frowned a bit and averted his eyes at his comment for a moment after he spoke.  

“We barely know each other.” He eventually said, keeping his eyes downcast but  _ at least _ speaking as if he was stating a fact rather than trying to convince himself of anything.

“I suppose that’s true.” Erwin replied, pressing on despite the sinking feeling that was threatening to erupt in his chest. “But it doesn’t feel that way. Not to me. I….well, you had me head over heels from the very beginning, I’m afraid. I spent the past three weeks doing nothing but thinking about you.” 

After Erwin said  _ that _ , there was a long pause from Levi’s side of the table, a thoughtful look crossing his face before he flushed again, the color — darker this time — even spreading up to his ears. 

“Just finish your story.” He said then, without glancing up from where he still stared into his tea.

He was frowning slightly, Erwin saw, his lips pulled down into the very same pout that had enraptured him so much just a few weeks ago, but his tone was even, and Erwin got the sense that he hadn’t meant to be dismissive but only wanted him to finish before he decided anything.

“Alright.” He agreed, feeling his stomach flip nervously at the thought. “After the rice didn’t work, I had the store send it off. They said it would take about a week, but they couldn’t restore the information either, so I found another place, an independent one that seemed like they knew what they were doing.”

“But they didn’t?”

“They identified the problem, but they couldn’t fix it. They recommended me where to send it next. By then another week had passed, and in the meantime I’d started coming here.”

“Why didn’t you just look at your fucking phone bill?”

“I tried, but they said the information wouldn’t be available until next month because I’d just paid it. I called corporate nearly a dozen times trying to get it, but I couldn’t get anywhere. It was frustrating. I also tried checking the staff pages on all of the local hospital’s websites, but you weren’t listed. I searched for you online. I debated on whether I should purchase a billboard. I hated myself for not getting your e-mail or the name of where you worked, and for not backing up my phone.”

“Yeah.” Levi muttered, raising an eyebrow wryly after he’d scoffed — in  _ clear  _ amusement this time instead of anything else — because of Erwin’s billboard comment. “You probably should’ve done that shit.”

“I know. Believe me, I know. Everyone has told me that.” Erwin replied, laughing at his idiocy anyway. 

“So, what? The last place you sent it off to fixed it?”

“Yes. I contacted them and told them what happened, and they seemed to think they could restore it. I overnighted it to them so it would get there faster, and although it took a few more days, unfortunately, they were able to access the information and upload it onto a computer. They sent me a report with everything on it. It took another day to get it, but I called you right away when I received the package. Ah….I have it with me if you’d like to see it. It has the date on it.”

Reaching down before Levi could even answer him, Erwin grabbed the stack of papers that he’d brought with him that had been resting on his lap the entire time. It was heavy, he knew, and thick because of how much information they had recovered, bound together with a plastic ring and tabbed by Erwin at the one and only place in the entire thing that mattered to him: the page with Levi’s phone number on it. Preparing to flip right to it so he could show Levi the date that it had been recovered, he found himself stopped suddenly instead, freezing when Levi spoke up to say something that caused him to almost gasp out loud.

“You don’t have to show me, Erwin.” He said, gazing at him steadily. “I believe you.”

“You do?” Erwin asked in response, feeling his eyes widen and his heart start to pound too because of Levi’s words. 

They washed over him, he thought, like a warm wave that was immediately followed by a rush of relief, and he almost had to repeat what Levi had told him a few times in his head because he almost couldn’t believe it. Levi believed him? Did that mean he’d proven to him that he was sincere? Would he be willing to go out with him again and pick up where they’d left off? That was what he wanted, of course, but he realized after he’d started breathing again that he didn’t know, because Levi hadn’t said that and the way he’d only murmured ‘yeah’ in response to his question suddenly made Erwin fear that he still wasn’t going to.

“Ah…” He said, choosing his next words carefully. “I take it there’s a ‘but’ somewhere?”

“I dunno. It depends.” Levi replied, worrying at his bottom lip again before abruptly glancing up. 

He met Erwin’s eyes right away, he noticed, and seemed to be looking at him  _ intently  _ as if he was trying to tell him something, and because Erwin wasn’t a fool, he immediately straightened up in his chair and opened his mouth.

“Depends on what?” He asked, because even if he was willing to try to understand what Levi meant he still wasn’t quite sure he did, only knowing that Levi had at least not shut him down immediately and told him his apology didn’t matter. 

“On what you’re gonna do about it.” 

“Oh.” Erwin uttered, so surprised at that statement — and at the way Levi raised an eyebrow a bit coyly, as if he was just giving Erwin a hard time now instead of being completely serious — that he went still again, staring with wide eyes at Levi for a second as his brain caught up and he immediately sprung on top of his chance. “I’m going to make it up to you. As much as I can.”

“How?”

“By taking you out again, to wherever you want to go. I’ll find you the biggest piece of chocolate cake in the city, and then call you the next day like you asked to plan another date. I can do this right, Levi, and I want to show you.” 

The first few moments after Erwin had finished his proposition seemed to last an eternity, every sound and sight in the coffee shop around them suddenly becoming nothing more than white noise to him while he waited on Levi to respond or react, or to give him any indication whatsoever that he was going to say yes. If he didn’t, Erwin thought, he did not know what he was going to do with himself afterward, but amazingly enough, despite the fact that Erwin felt like he was daring to hope beyond all reason, Levi only waited a single second longer before he nodded.

“Yeah, okay.” He said too, the affirmative response  _ immediately  _ causing Erwin’s face to break out into a wide, pleased smile. 

He felt a rush of happiness suddenly, and relief, and even a bit of awe too because after everything, after all the discouragement and the self-deprecation and the  _ certainty  _ he’d sometimes had that Levi was surely going to reject him, he actually hadn’t, and was instead willing to give him a second chance to make up for the terrible, foolish,  _ colossal  _ mistake he’d made despite the fact that Erwin wasn’t even sure that he deserved it. Levi was going to give him another chance, he thought, to let him start over so that they could put all of this behind them and move on, and at the realization that he was, in fact, not going to have to say goodbye to Levi forever that day — something that made his chest ache just to think about — he experienced another strong wave of emotion, one that had him running a hand through his hair and relaxing immediately, even letting out a small, breathy laugh at the sheer amazement and relief of it all. 

“Thank you.” He said too, watching as Levi took in his reaction and blushed pink again, glancing away, naturally, but not before Erwin glimpsed something soft and warm in his eyes that he couldn’t hide.

Reaching out a second later, Levi confirmed to Erwin what he now suspected — that he was glad too — and moved, shifting so that he could gently rest his fingers across the top of Erwin’s and take his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this got long so there will be an epilogue (with sex) :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Were you thinking about sticking your cock in me again?”
> 
> “I was. I won’t lie.” 
> 
> “Do you want it again?
> 
> “Yes.”
> 
> “How bad?”
> 
> “Bad enough to wonder if I’m going to live through this conversation. Levi, I’m—
> 
> “Come over.” Levi interrupted, blurting out the request because he couldn’t stand it anymore — their conversation had gotten heated very quickly — and because Erwin’s words about wanting him had straight to his dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait BUT HERE'S THE MAKE-UP SEX, 5,000 more words than i meant for it to be.

It was 10:52 in the morning, and Levi was still in bed.

He’d woken up not too long ago, he recalled, at approximately 15 minutes past 10, but had still not managed to make it out from underneath his blankets just yet. He was comfortable there and warm and still a bit sleepy because he’d stayed up late, and….well, regardless of all that, he wasn’t even planning on trying to move at all until after 11:00 anyway. That was because he was waiting on a call, a very important, very  _ needed  _ phone call that would be unacceptable and disappointing to miss, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else except lying in bed and staring at his phone screen until he was sure whether he was going to get it or not.  

Seeing as how there were only so many people who he would wait on like that, the call was supposed to be from  _ Erwin _ , of course, who had taken Levi out the night before — determinedly, and just as he’d told him he would after declaring his plans at the coffee shop — on a date that had been a lot like their first one. They’d eaten an amazing dinner and shared a dessert, and then visited a few shops in the area they were in before Erwin walked Levi home. There, the only exception to everything that they’d done last time occurred: Levi did  _ not  _ sleep with Erwin. He didn’t invite him inside and he didn’t take his clothes off, and despite the fact that he really,  _ really  _ didn’t want to say goodbye to him either, only allowed him one kiss before he unlocked his front door and entered his apartment.

Despite that, though, he’d still wondered afterward if even just that quick embrace had been a mistake — mainly because he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since, remembering how Erwin had pressed his mouth to his own gently, his lips warm and soft and inviting, so much so that they nearly took his resolve away almost instantly when they’d first touched his own. It was a miracle he hadn’t given in and dragged him inside for more, he thought, especially when Erwin lingered, naturally, hesitant to give up tasting him despite the fact that he had accepted Levi’s intent to end things  _ before  _ they got carried away without question. 

“Sorry.” He’d said quietly, smiling down at him after Levi had gently pushed him away — only because he wanted to wait this time until Erwin called him like he was supposed to before going any further,  _ just  _ to make sure he would,  _ just  _ so he wouldn’t regret opening his heart, body, and mind to him all over again like he had before. Erwin had understood, thankfully, which just had the effect of making Levi more at ease and less inclined to stand his ground, too, finding himself barely managing not to drag Erwin inside by his lapels and throw him down on the nearest flat surface so he could climb on top of him. “You’re impossible to resist, I’m afraid.”

Flushing at that, Levi had bitten his lip and couldn’t resist leaning into it when Erwin cupped his cheek, reconsidering it, of course, as he was pretty sure that Erwin was sincere after all, and that everything that had happened before had just been the result of some horrible,  _ shitty _ , bad fucking luck. He believed Erwin when he said that and had accepted all that he’d told him at the coffee shop, but really, in the end, when it came down to it he supposed that wasn’t even really the main issue. 

Instead, what Levi hadn’t been sure of was whether he could get past all the hurt he’d experienced as a result of Erwin’s accident or not, as even though he  _ did  _ forgive him and believed that he hadn’t done it on purpose, it had still fucking sucked, and he feared risking his feelings again in case there was another repeat. Thankfully, though, Erwin’s proposal that they start over, essentially, was the perfect test to see if he  _ could  _ get over it, he thought, and thankfully, it had become pretty apparent as soon as their next date had begun that he wasn’t going to have any problems getting back on track with Erwin after all —  _ if  _ he called him the next day like he was supposed to, of course.

By then, it almost seemed like a trivial thing after how Erwin had treated him the night before — just like he had on their first date, acting respectable and doting and sweet, charming enough all in all to make Levi’s heart flutter again — and although he actually didn’t  _ really  _ believe that Erwin wouldn’t call, it was still a bit hard for him to put his blind trust in Erwin all over again without first seeing if he actually should this time. Besides that, it was still a bit surreal to think about everything as well, too, to realize that after the weeks spent feeling awful and taken advantaged of and  _ sad  _ that Erwin didn’t return his feelings that it was all actually just a big misunderstanding, and he  _ did  _ care about Levi and he  _ did  _ want to date him.

Levi had been so sure, he remembered, that he’d been purposefully hurt by someone who had impressed him so much that he almost thought it too good to be true that he  _ was  _ wrong, but even if, deep down, he now believed that he  _ had  _ lucked out after all and found the perfect guy, he just wanted to make sure, to wait until Erwin did this one last thing that Levi needed to see before he felt like he could be intimate with him again. Fortunately, Erwin was respectful of his wishes and all too happy to comply — he wanted to prove to Levi that he could follow up too, like he had said at the coffee shop — and so they decided that they would talk on the phone at 11:00 A.M. the next day, leaving an excited and hopeful Levi unable to sleep in any later than 10:15.  

He’d been lying in bed waiting ever since then, of course, with nervous excitement fluttering around in his stomach, and just staring at his phone on the bedside table, periodically reaching over to check the time from where he’d laid it down on top of the note Erwin had left for him at the coffee shop. That in itself had been enough proof of Erwin’s efforts to find him, he’d thought, which along with everything else he’d done, all the trouble he’d gone to and the obvious guilt he’d experienced, had actually been kind of charming. It’d made Levi feel good, of course, and flustered from the thought that Erwin had been  _ that  _ broken up about not being able to see him again — especially when he had been too — because it suggested that he really did like Levi a lot, that his feelings for him must be pretty serious if he was still desperate after almost a month to find him again.

That was what Levi thought about while he remained under his blankets waiting for it to be 11:00, feeling like every minute took an eternity to pass by because of how he already longed to hear from Erwin again. He anticipated him calling with so much eagerness that he could barely think about anything else, in fact, unable to stop himself from getting his hopes up when he imagined what the future might bring if — no,  _ when _ , he told himself — he did. Obviously it would mean more Erwin, of course, more dates and more kisses and more of that warm, happy fluttering feeling he got when he was around, and maybe even their burgeoning relationship growing into something more, something real that ended up with Erwin as a permanent fixture in both his life and in his heart. He couldn’t help but hope for it even if it might be a bad idea for him to hinge everything on one phone call after what he’d already been through, but seeing Erwin again the night before had just reminded Levi all over again how amazing he was. He longed to hear his voice again already, he thought, because he just wanted to talk to him again, and because, of course, he wanted to be able to completely let his remaining hesitance go so that he didn’t  feel the need to hold back. 

Finally, after what seemed like 3 hours instead of around 30 minutes, Levi’s alarm went off when the clock struck 11, and he stared raptly at his phone while his heart pounded in his chest. He swallowed as one second passed, tensing when another went by, and another and another until it had been a quarter of a minute and he could feel the tiniest hint of worry start to creep into his mind. Fortunately, though, before it could  _ really  _ settle down to start bothering him his phone suddenly began to ring, loudly trumpeting the tone and vibrating on his bedside table for a split second before he saw Erwin’s name and reached out, practically knocking the device off and onto the floor in his effort to pick up.

“Hello?” He said right away, rolling over onto his back and not even caring about looking over eager or anything like that, as by then, he was pretty sure that after what they’d been through they were already past shit like that anyway — especially when it had resulted in them being rather upfront about their feelings for each other, too. 

_ “Sorry I’m a few seconds late.” _ Erwin’s voice flooded his ear right away, his tone sounding a bit hurried as if he’d been rushing to make the phone call.  _ “I was eating breakfast and I thought I had time to put my plate away.” _

“It doesn’t matter.” Levi snorted, because really, even if he had felt a hint of fear that Erwin wouldn’t call, a quarter of a minute delay was  _ not  _ something he was going to get irritated about. 

He probably couldn’t, he thought, even if he wanted to, because he was suddenly filled with happiness, a warm, buoyant feeling swelling in his chest that made it impossible for him to hold back a smile. Erwin had  _ called _ , he realized right then, had followed up with him like he’d promised after their date and had now done everything right, demonstrating in every single way that he probably could that he cared about  _ all  _ of Levi instead of just his fucking ass. 

_ “Well, good morning then, Levi.” _ Erwin continued, his tone so warm that Levi could practically imagine the soft smile on his face too.  _ “Did you sleep well?” _

“Yeah. Not bad.”

_ “That’s good.” _

“What about you?”

_ “Not so great, I’m afraid. I couldn’t fall asleep, and then I kept tossing and turning.” _

“Why?”

_ “Because I was thinking about you.” _ Erwin stated simply, his words causing Levi to immediately bite his lip and feel his face warm. His heart fluttered too, he thought, and he rolled over onto his side so that he could tug the blankets up to his chin — automatically seeking to hide his flush on instinct even  _ if  _ there was no one else around to see it — but not even bothering to try and swallow down his excitement.  _ “And about how glad I am that you gave me another chance, and how much I already want to see you again. I had a good time last night. I know we just went out, but _ —

“When?” Levi interrupted, realizing what Erwin was about to suggest and suddenly feeling  _ just  _ as anxious to see him again too.

_ “Ah...well, I’m free tonight and tomorrow. Do you have to work?” _

“Yeah, tonight. At 5. But I’m off tomorrow.”

_ “Alright. So tomorrow night, then?” _

“Yeah, okay.”

_ “Great. I’m looking forward to it.” _ Erwin said, another obvious smile in his warm voice that all but had Levi squirming.

It was because he was full of anticipation, he thought, and excitement for their date the next night — scheduled so quickly and with so much ease after what he’d gone through that it was almost ridiculous — but also because he already felt a bit impatient, wondering if he would even be able to wait considering how strongly he’d begun to long for him right then. Did he even want to wait, though? Did he  _ have  _ to? He was free that afternoon, wasn’t he, if Erwin wanted to see him too for something quicker than a formal date? 

Yes, he knew, he was, and because he was lying in bed — and because hearing Erwin’s rich, deep voice while he was resting between his sheets had reminded him of the night they’d spent together before, of how Erwin had murmured praise into his ear, whispering to him and kissing at his neck, holding him close and moving inside him in a way that had left him overwhelmingly breathless and vocal — he couldn’t help but think of  _ one  _ possible thing that they’d certainly have time to do. 

Perhaps if Levi hadn’t sent Erwin home early the night before than his longing for it wouldn’t feel so urgent, but it was, because he’d barely been able to let him go then and he was still thinking about their kiss, about how Erwin had ever so lightly brushed his tongue across Levi’s lips but gone no further, the tight hold he’d had on his waist making him feel dizzy and almost feverish at the same time. He’d be crazy not to want to experience that again as soon as possible, he thought, especially when he remembered how much he’d really let go the first time they’d slept together, how he’d felt pleasure that he didn’t even know was possible and then a spark of something warm in his heart when they’d finished together for the last time, a sudden jarring, emotional rush going through him that caused him to tremble in Erwin’s arms from the moment that he’d caught his eye.  

Of course, that intensity had been why it had hurt so much when Erwin had failed to call him the next day, Levi knew, which was part of the reason that he’d held back the night before. Now, though, he thought, it didn’t fucking matter because Erwin had just passed his final test with flying colors and there was no reason for him to continue, and as he was always impatient when it came to things he wanted, Levi really,  _ really  _ did not want to wait any longer than he was forced to share a bed with Erwin again — especially when he was so happy about how things had worked out too, of course, how enlivened he was and how much he longed to revel in all of that with him. 

“Hey.” Levi said after those thoughts, after he’d pondered it a few more times while they’d been talking about other things and realized there was absolutely no reason for him  _ not  _ to ask. “You know what I keep thinking about?”

_ “What?”  _ Erwin asked, chuckling a bit as if he could somehow  _ sense  _ the coy way in which Levi was suddenly biting his lip, his eyes averted to stare at his sheets slyly like they did when he was about to attempt to say something flirtatious.  

“How much of a dumbass I was for not dragging you in here last night.”

_ “It’s alright. I understand why you didn’t.” _

“Yeah, but that shit doesn’t matter now.”

_ “It did. But if it makes you feel any better, that was part of the reason why I couldn’t get to sleep last night too.” _

“Oh yeah?”

_ “Yes. I could barely stand to stop kissing you when we were together, Levi. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. You felt so good in my arms.” _

“Last night, or the time we fucked?”

Levi had not memorized all of Erwin’s expressions just yet, but he could almost imagine the way his lips parted upon hearing that.

_ “....both.” _ He said, a slight, low tone becoming apparent in his voice now — one that made Levi feel a small, encouraging thrill that he couldn't ignore.

“Were you thinking about sticking your cock in me again?”

_ “I was thinking about how you sounded while I was doing that, yes. I liked making you feel good.” _

“Do you want to do it again?

_ “I do.” _

“How bad?”

_ “Bad enough to wonder if I’m going to live through this conversation."  _ Erwin chuckled, the amusement in his voice causing Levi to snort despite himself.

"Yeah."

_ Levi, I want you. I’m— _

“Come over.” Levi interrupted, blurting out the request because he couldn’t stand it anymore — their conversation had gotten heated  _ very  _ quickly — and because Erwin’s words about wanting him had gone straight to his dick.

He had a fucking boner now, in fact, and he felt hot all over and suddenly  _ desperate _ , and because of the things Erwin had said too, Levi had no doubt in his mind that Erwin was going to say yes.

_ “What?” _ He said first though, sounding a little surprised as if he wasn’t quite sure that he’d actually heard Levi right.  _ “Right now?” _

“Yeah. I’m still in bed, Erwin. Are you busy, or not?”

_ “I’m not.” _

“Alright.” Levi continued, murmuring to Erwin in his best attempt at a silky voice and biting back a smile at how quickly he’d answered him that time. “Then  _ come over _ .”

_ “I’ll be there in 25 minutes.” _ Was Erwin’s immediate response to that, uttered so abruptly that he barely managed to say goodbye before he was hanging up the phone and presumably dashing off to go get ready. 

Imagining it made Levi snort in amusement, of course, and feel a flood of warmth because of how thrilled Erwin apparently was at the prospect of what he’d proposed, but he basically did the same thing too, climbing out of bed — even though he’d told Erwin he was still there, he needed to eat something first — and rushing into his kitchen to down a container of yoghurt and fruit before he then jumped into the shower. He wanted to make sure he was clean, he thought, and that he smelled good, and so he scrubbed at his hair and washed off with soap as fast as he could, finding that even though he hurried, he’d barely managed to dry off completely and throw on a fresh pair of boxers before there was a loud, forceful knock at his door that had excitement shooting through him like a bolt of lightning. 

Not bothering to put a shirt on — he’d intended to, but it didn’t matter because he wouldn’t have worn it for very long anyway — he swallowed and walked to his door, his heart pounding against his ribs in a way that already had him breathless. After unlocking it, he swung the thing open while biting his lip from the anticipation of seeing Erwin, flushing all over right away as soon as he looked up to glimpse his smiling face and the way his gaze  _ immediately  _ lowered to take in the bare skin of his chest.

His eyes went lidded and his lips parted a bit — clearly demonstrating that he liked the sight — and that was all Levi needed to grab the front of the t-shirt he wore, pulling him inside and kicking the door shut with his foot before he all but threw his arms around his neck. Blessedly, Erwin took that for what it was and did not waste any time in dipping his head down to give him a kiss, this one starting out as heated and full of excitement as it possibly could because this time, they  _ both  _ knew where it was headed. 

Erwin pressed his lips to Levi’s with enough ferocity, in fact, to take his breath away and almost cause him to feel dizzy, finding that he stumbled a bit once he started pulling him backward — enough for Erwin to take matters into his own hands, apparently, and lift Levi up so that he could just carry him. In response, Levi’s initial surprise quickly turned into more arousal, and he wound both his arms and legs around Erwin when he did so, clinging to him tightly and continuing to move his mouth over Erwin’s hungrily, kissing him as hard and as thoroughly as he could in the hopes that it would reflect just how  _ much  _ he actually wanted him right then. 

It must have, he thought, because he found himself flat on his back and on his bed in what felt like just a few more seconds, only remembering after that Erwin had never been to his room before and must have just guessed where to go. There was only one hallway though so it wasn’t like it was hard to find, he supposed, but regardless, he could only spare another thought towards the question before he was immediately distracted by how Erwin felt on top of him. He was lying between Levi’s legs already on the mattress, bracing himself with one elbow while Levi squirmed to fit their hips together, only slowing down a bit when he sensed Erwin do the same and he could feel him all but grinning against his mouth in their kiss.

“Hello.” He said when Levi pulled away a second later, laying his head back onto the bed so that he could look up into Erwin’s face. 

He was smiling, he saw, just like he’d expected, and his blue eyes were bright with something warm. He looked happy, Levi thought, and even though he felt the exact same way right then, it made his heart flutter to think that Erwin now seemed so glad because of him. 

“Hey.” He replied back after running his hands up the back of Erwin’s neck, his fingers tangling in his hair gently, barely managing not to tug him back down when he realized with amusement why Erwin had just given him a greeting like that: they hadn’t exchanged ‘hellos’ when he’d first gotten there, and had instead just let their mouths do the talking from the moment that Levi had answered the door.

Now, though, some of the immediate urgency had faded enough for him to realize it, and although Levi was still tingling all over with arousal and excitement, he wasn’t necessarily of the opinion that they shouldn’t take the time to savor the moment either. After all, he was happy to see Erwin again in every respect, he thought, and not just because he was fucking horny and turned on and already rock hard at the thought of seeing every inch of Erwin’s gorgeous body naked again, as the fact that he was there in the first place, talking to him — especially after what had happened — was more than enough to make him feel glad. 

Much to his satisfaction and to his overwhelmingly warm heart, Erwin seemed to be thinking the same thing too, as he was still staring down at him, letting his eyes wonder over the parts of Levi that he could see to take him in before giving him another smile. He ran a thumb across his jaw too and kissed his neck once while Levi leaned into it, and lingered like that, as if it was still soaking in for him that he was getting to touch Levi again. A moment later and his words actually confirmed it, too, as he spoke after cupping Levi’s cheek while he gazed into his eyes, the tender gesture along with his words more than enough to cause Levi to have to swallow down a swell of emotion.

“I thought I’d never get to hold you like this again.” He said, chuckling a bit as if the idea was now ridiculous.

“Yeah.” Levi agreed, remembering how he too had spent plenty of time moping over the same thing. Averting his eyes, he pulled Erwin down so that he could bury his face into his neck, holding him close while Erwin did the same and kissed Levi’s cheek. “Me too. It fucking sucked.”

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

Scoffing, Levi all but rolled his eyes at Erwin’s guilty tone — which, of course, he did not see any reason for anymore. “Forget it. It doesn’t matter now.”

“So we’re alright then?” Erwin asked, his question causing Levi to peek back up at him from where he was still holding on.

He was smiling, Levi saw, in a hopeful way that made his heart flutter, and that caused him to shake his head in disbelief too because he thought the answer was obvious. Still, though, he understood why Erwin would want to make sure, of course, as  _ he  _ had been the one tasked to make things right, and although he’d done it spectacularly, Levi supposed it made sense to verbally confirm it one last time so that they could put all of the mess behind them. 

“Yeah.” Levi answered, his hands sliding up Erwin’s neck to cup his cheeks. “We’re good.”

Immediately, Erwin’s smile grew wider before he dipped his head down to kiss Levi again, his mouth leaving Levi’s again quickly afterward, but returning only a second later after they shared one last glance that made Levi’s cheeks burn. After that, it seemed, there was no more need for words because they had become too wrapped up in each other again, too lost in reveling in their closeness — stronger than it normally might have been after just two dates, of course, because of what they’d already been through — to do anymore speaking. 

The movements of their lips were slower than before this time too, less urgent and hurried because they’d basked in each other’s presence enough so that they did not each feel so desperate, but the thoroughness was not gone, nor was the eager way in which they both sought to continue tasting each other, Levi’s hands and mouth and tongue dragging Erwin back every time he shifted even just a fraction of an inch away. By the time they finally did break apart, though, they were both panting and red-faced and Erwin’s fingers had started to slide over Levi’s waist and stomach, and he too sought to do the same thing, reaching to tug Erwin’s shirt over his head so that he could run his palms along his strong shoulders and chest, and trail them down the broad expanse of his back before returning them up again. 

Although Levi was no different, Erwin had been pretty fucking responsive to his touch the last time they’d been together, and it had obviously not changed now, as he seemed to practically melt into Levi’s arms once he had his hands on him, sighing in something like bliss and leaning into it when he could, biting his lip, too, as Levi often did, and somehow still managing to return every bit of what he must have been feeling to Levi right beneath him. Erwin kissed at his neck with determination and made him nearly squirm when he dragged his fingers over a nipple or slipped them along one of his hipbones, his palm going lower every so often to slowly rub at his thigh while tickling the inside of it with one thumb before he grasped at his waist again. 

It was teasing, Levi thought, and he was pretty damn sure it was going to drive him crazy before it was all over with, as his need for more substantial contact seemed to be growing stronger and stronger by the second, the warm pool of lust in his belly now driving away whatever patience he’d managed to hold onto before. Now, he’d forgotten all about taking their time again in a matter of minutes because the way Erwin was touching and kissing him — and pressing him into the mattress with his weight, something that turned Levi on  _ a lot _ and caused him to squirm so that he could feel it — was making him nearly desperate again, excited and eager for other, more intimate and uninhibited things, like Erwin spreading him with his fingers while Levi moaned and writhed beneath him and tugged at his hair. 

He hadn’t forgotten how good Erwin had been with them before, of course, like he apparently was at  _ everything  _ he did to him since Levi now felt like he was on fire — his skin hot and flushed all over, burning, practically, in every spot that Erwin deigned to put his hands on him — but thankfully, Erwin did not seem like he was in the mood to take his time that day either, as the way he was kissing him was becoming more uncontrolled and rough by the second. Apparently, Levi thought, the long absence combined with his current effort to rub every part of himself against Erwin was getting to him too, and it wasn’t long after Levi let out a harsh gasp, his cock rubbing against Erwin’s leg as he grinded against it, that Erwin broke away from his lips for good, mouthing at his neck hungrily while he reached suddenly to grab at Levi’s boxers. 

He tugged at them once with a sharp jerk of his hand that had Levi arching too in an effort to help get them removed, practically wriggling in the next few seconds so that Erwin could pull them down over his hips and low enough for Levi to kick them off with his legs. Immediately after that, Erwin’s hand found its way to his backside, his palm squeezing his ass suddenly while he continued to kiss lower over Levi’s chest. His lips were marking a heated, wet, messy trail down Levi’s middle towards his belly, mouthing at his skin hungrily while Levi clutched at his shoulders and squeezed.

He couldn’t help it, he thought, and he couldn’t help but rub at Erwin’s back as far as he could reach before he finally tangled his fingers in his hair and cradled his head too, struggling to bite back a groan as Erwin reached the softer, untoned skin of his belly, the hot slip of his tongue causing him to squirm beneath him because he was sometimes ticklish. The cool air against the wet marks Erwin was making caused him to suck in small breaths as well, but the feeling was going straight to his groin, too — especially because Erwin’s mouth was now hovering somewhere near his cock. 

Before he could feel it there, though, before he could even  _ begin  _ to consider telling Erwin he didn’t have to suck him off to completion like he’d done the last time they were together, Erwin was nudging him to turn over, his big hands grasping at Levi’s thighs to help him roll onto his stomach. Somehow he did so without kicking Erwin in the face, and he spread his legs to accommodate him next while Erwin settled back down between them — with Levi biting his lip and pressing his face into the mattress at how widely he had to stretch them to make room for Erwin’s broad shoulders — planting his mouth where his palms had just been on the inside of one of his thighs. 

He kissed at him there eagerly, sucking on the supple skin before Levi felt the scrape of his teeth for the first time and gasped, clutching at the sheets with his fingers while Erwin trailed back upward after he’d made his way down Levi’s front. Although his heart was pounding and his nerves so alight and sensitive that every touch nearly made him tremble, he couldn’t help but wonder what Erwin was going to do. Was he going to finger him, Levi thought, and start opening him up in preparation for the moment that he would press in with his cock and take Levi’s breath away? The anticipation of it almost made him moan, but considering that Erwin’s mouth was still on his skin, at the beginnings of the swell of his backside, he supposed there was something  _ else  _ he might have in mind, something that made Levi nearly flush to think about and that couldn’t be anything other than—

“Oh, shit.” Levi gasped when he felt exactly what he’d just been thinking of, when Erwin suddenly used his hands to spread his ass cheeks and sweep his tongue over what lay between. “Oh,  _ shit. _ Erwin—

Levi cut himself off so that he could reach for a pillow, shoving his face into it — not because he felt compelled to hide his cries, but more because he thought he needed something to hold onto — and moaning when Erwin didn’t hesitate to start licking at him eagerly. Despite the mild teasing he’d put Levi through before, he was apparently intent on not holding back or wasting any time now, as it was only a few moments before the gentle probing of his tongue turned into Erwin reaching as far inside of him as he could with it in order to taste him. The warm, wet sensation of something that soft slipping past his rim for the first time caused Levi’s toes to curl, and he couldn’t help but shift to dig his knees down into the mattress so that he could stick his backside up farther towards Erwin’s mouth.

It was an almost instinctual move, he thought, to thrust back against him however gently he could because it felt so amazing, and it certainly did not discourage Erwin any, as he slipped his arms under and around Levi’s raised thighs in response, his hands coming down on his ass to hold him open like that and close to his face so that he could keep his lips on him. Moving them and mouthing at Levi’s hole in ways that had him moaning and shuddering — his tongue tickling sensitive nerves and skin and coaxing him to roll his hips over and over again to meet each slip of it inside him — Erwin lapped at him in every way he could, with determination, Levi thought, and an insistence that made him feel warm to think about in more ways than one.

Obviously, it was partly because his skin was already flushed and prickly from all of the stimulation, of course, and the upper half of his cock kept dragging along the bed so that a heavy heat began to settle in his belly, but also from the fact that Erwin doing this in the first place gave him butterflies too, as....well, sticking your face in someone’s ass was a lot more intimate than giving a quick blowjob. That was how it felt to Levi, at least, because he felt far more exposed that way than any other and it was hard not to feel self-conscious about it at first — he was really, really glad he’d taken a shower, he thought — but the realization that Erwin was willing to go there with so much enthusiasm made him feel a tight, pleasurable constriction in his heart, too, as did the obvious inclination he exhibited to just please Levi, to focus on him so thoroughly at the expense of himself first so that  _ he  _ was already trembling and halfway to an orgasm while Erwin had barely even begun to be touched. 

However much he was enjoying Erwin’s mouth on him, though, Levi decided that he’d like to correct that — and to return the favor next time, too, as it wasn’t like he  _ didn’t _ want Erwin’s cock in his mouth or anything like that anyway — and started with reaching behind him for whatever part of Erwin he could touch, his fingers brushing across the side of his face and hair lightly as he twisted around to get a glimpse of him. Naturally, the sight of Erwin like that, with the bottom half of his face out of view because of the swell of Levi's backside and the way his brows were drawn down tightly in concentration, was enough to make him pause for a second — he was only human, for fuck’s sake — while he bit his lip, swallowing down another noise when he felt Erwin’s wet tongue inside him again before he managed to speak. 

“Erwin.” He gasped, watching as Erwin's eyes, which had been closed too, opened and focused on him long enough for him to stop. 

Taking advantage of his pause — he wasn't sure if his will would've been as strong as he needed it to be otherwise — Levi twisted a bit more in his grip and slipped a hand under Erwin’s arm, tugging gently in the hopes that he would take the hint and climb back over him. Thankfully he did after wiping his mouth, offering Levi a smile that he glimpsed quickly before he abruptly buried his face in Erwin’s neck. He wrapped an arm around his shoulder and started kissing him there before Erwin could even do anything else, too, reaching down after another second with the intention of undoing Erwin’s pants so that he could palm at his cock. 

It took a little fumbling on his part before he was able to grasp it, but once he did he couldn’t deny the thrill he felt as Erwin melted into his embrace almost immediately, a breathy exhale leaving his lips that quickly turned into small gasps when Levi started stroking him. The heat of his length in Levi’s palm went straight to his own dick too, of course, and he made a sound of his own as he messily kissed at Erwin’s neck, excitedly pinching one of Erwin’s nipples with his free hand to make him groan before he could even help himself. Sucking at his skin, Levi successfully seemed to have Erwin unravelling in his hands within what had to be just a few seconds, his hips stuttering slightly as Levi continued to stroke him and nearly jerking upward as if Erwin sought to thrust into his palm. 

“Levi.” He said after a few moments, swallowing first, his voice sounding low and uneven but also framed with a hint of amusement, as if he was absolutely delighted by what he was about to say next. “You make it very difficult for me to be patient.”

Snorting, Levi shifted underneath Erwin and nipped at his throat. “What are you waiting for, then? I didn’t say you had to be patient.”

“I know, but—

“Come  _ on. _ ” Levi urged, squeezing his cock gently, tipping his head back too just in time to see Erwin’s jaw go slack for a moment while he finally thrusted up into Levi’s hand. “I want this in me. I don’t wanna come if it’s not.”

“Do you have lube?”

“Yeah.”

“Where?”

“In the bathroom over there. In the middle drawer.”

“I’ll get it.”

“Yeah, you’d better go get it.”

Huffing a laugh at Levi’s words — murmured in a low voice before he bit his lip, hopefully giving Erwin what he thought was a meaningful look as he playfully gave his chest a gentle shove off of him — his eyes brightened too, and he all but leapt from the mattress a split second later, easily finding his way into Levi’s bathroom after he’d discarded his pants and underwear. Levi got a good look at his ass before he disappeared and the sight of him was replaced with sounds that could only indicate he was rummaging through one of Levi’s drawers, the noises stopping shortly before there was a 30 second pause and Levi heard the sink, finding the cause of Erwin’s slight delay to be obvious when he sensed the fresh, minty taste on Erwin’s breath after he’d finally reappeared with a small bottle.  

He’d pressed their lips together almost immediately after he’d walked back to him, too, doing so excitedly before he’d even climbed all the way onto the bed. Upon realizing that Erwin must have found his mouthwash in the bathroom — and how much he’d missed Erwin’s warm mouth against his too — Levi wrapped his arms around his neck and dragged him back down on top of him, quickly losing himself to the kiss so completely that he didn’t register the sounds of Erwin uncapping the lube and maneuvering his hands, slicking his fingers up, apparently, until he felt the tips of two of them pressing right against his entrance. 

Erwin probed at him gently for a moment like that, while Levi broke their kiss and his jaw went slack in anticipation, barely able to get his bearings before Erwin realized that he was wet and loose enough from his own tongue for both of his fingers to slide in rather easily. It still took him a few seconds to work them in all the way up to his second knuckle, though, but all Levi could do in response was clutch at Erwin’s shoulders, arching his back, too, and accepting everything that was giving to him as eagerly as he could. 

A rough moan fell from his lips while he did so, of course, at the feeling of finally having something  _ solid  _ inside of him that day, as sure, Erwin’s tongue had been incredible earlier but it hadn’t stretched him like this, hadn’t made him feel full even if he knew it would soon not be enough or reach that deeply up inside him, giving him something to clench around so that he could savor the feeling of Erwin dragging his fingers in and out of his ass while he hung onto him and struggled not to shake.

It was even after when, after a few strokes like that, Erwin curled them too, in what proved to be a come hither motion in more than name when Levi automatically lifted his hips off of the bed towards Erwin’s hand. It was because he’d felt a surge of pleasure when Erwin had pressed against his prostate, of course, an intense one that caused him to also gasp, his eyelids fluttering uncontrollably as he panted and then dragged Erwin down for another uncoordinated kiss while he continued. 

“Good?” Erwin murmured against his lips, a question to which Levi — now unsure that he could speak because of what Erwin was doing to him — simply nodded in response, the gesture prompting Erwin to begin working in a third finger before he could even catch his breath. 

As pliant and wanting as Levi was by then, it wasn’t that difficult, and whatever discomfort he might have felt at first was quickly overcome by pleasure. It wasn’t just the sensation of it either, of course, but the awareness of how split he felt around Erwin’s fingers — they were thick, Levi knew, but not even as thick as what lay below his belt — and the realization that it was only a taste of what was to come. Moaning, he rolled his hips eagerly against Erwin’s hand as if he was already fucking him with his cock, shifting while Erwin kissed at his neck and his mouth, wondering just how long he was going to be able to keep this up considering his comment about being impatient earlier. 

Thankfully, Levi soon discovered, the answer was not long, because it was only a few seconds after he began moving so eagerly that Erwin swallowed, asking him if he was ready before he all but jumped off the bed a second time to find a condom when Levi answered ‘yes.’ Practically ripping the small package open with his teeth, Levi watched him roll it on and reach for the lube again in the span of less than a minute, feeling a heated rush of renewed excitement and arousal sweep through him when Erwin kneeled between his legs. He lined himself up and carefully guided the head of his cock into Levi’s entrance as gently as he could, only leaning forward over him again once he slipped inside and could stop concentrating as much so that he could be closer. 

Immediately — and almost on instinct, too — Levi grabbed at his shoulders to hold onto him while he pressed his face into his neck, closing eyes so that he could focus while they both moved their hips carefully to work Erwin inside of him. As he sank deeper, Levi’s breath became more and more ragged and he choked out a moan, not able to do much more because of how overwhelming it was to be filled like that, up to the hilt and so stretched around Erwin’s cock that it made his fingers and toes curl into sheets and bare skin. He arched his back too and then opened his mouth while Erwin wetly kissed up his neck and jaw before covering it with his own — breathing heavily in between each press of his lips while he watched Levi and eventually spoke. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, his blue eyes cloudy with pleasure but still bright despite his ruddy face and messed up hair.  

His thighs were trembling too, Levi noticed, as were the both of his own, of course, but that and the way in which he could barely think now  _ certainly  _ wasn’t enough to stop him from nodding vigorously and lifting his hips. 

“Yeah.” He gasped too, the sound turning into a low moan when Erwin responded in kind and shifted too. Moving again like that, they easily fell into a rhythm after a moment that ended the shaking in their legs and voices and that had Erwin thrusting more surely while he responded in kind, the feel of their bodies working together — of Erwin's bare skin sliding over his, his hips rolling to meet Levi's ass seamlessly and in perfect time as he lifted it — already going to his head and making him feel so good he thought he might die if Erwin were to quit going. “Don't stop. Fuck.”

“I won't.” Erwin promised, giving Levi a searing kiss in the next second that seemed to show just how much he meant that, too. 

His thrusts grew more determined as he moved his lips over Levi’s and grabbed at one of his thighs as well, squeezing it while Levi wrapped his leg around Erwin’s waist almost on instinct while he then slid his palm up and over his skin. Reaching upward, he clumsily tangled their fingers together from where Levi had let one of his arms fall back onto the mattress, and then kept it there like that, holding onto his hand tightly and only pulling away from their kiss as the bucking of Levi’s hips inevitably urged him to go faster. 

Unable to help the breathy moans that were coming from his throat now — both because of the exertion, and because it just felt too damn good — Levi gripped his hand and found his gaze meeting Erwin’s above him, staring into his eyes for a moment through sweat-soaked strands of hair while he panted through parted lips. Erwin’s expression mirrored his own, of course, but when he realized Levi had looked up he gave him a sort of breathless, lopsided smile, squeezing his hand just a second later from where he held it as he continued to move. 

“You feel so good.” He said then, thrusting up inside him harder, deeper than he had before, too, and causing Levi to gasp. 

“ _ Fuck. _ ”

“You feel perfect.”

“Erwin—

“You’re gorgeous, Levi. You’re amazing. Fuck, I don’t want to let go of you. I—

“Then don’t.” Levi moaned, throwing his head back while he flushed hotly from the praise Erwin had given him, closing his eyes, too, in the face of an abrupt, almost jarring swell of emotion that swept over him in response to Erwin’s words.

It came from within his chest, he thought, and his heart began to skip rapidly while a warm, buoyant feeling of fondness for the man above him filled his entire body, awe that he was even there in the first place hitting him so strongly too that it all threatened to almost take his breath away. It was probably the pleasure that actually did that, of course, because Erwin had not stopped moving — he was all but pounding into him now — and Levi’s orgasm was now building rapidly, but regardless, it was the same thing he’d experienced last time, he knew, the same spark of closeness he’d felt towards Erwin while they’d done this before that he wasn’t quite sure he entirely understood, only wondering in that moment if love at first sight was actually possible for someone as cynical as him and _at least_ just knowing one small, single thing for certain: he didn’t have to hold back, he thought, or chase his feelings away or hide them behind a wall out of fear that they’d be unreturned or ignored, realizing, then, despite all that had happened between the both of them over the past month, that he did not want to let go of Erwin for _anything_ right then either.

Thankfully neither one of them did so, of course, their embrace and the grip Erwin had on Levi’s hand just growing so tightly while he thrusted that Levi thought he would lose feeling in his fingers. Even if he did, he thought, he probably wouldn’t have fucking noticed because somewhere along the way he’d wrapped his other palm around his cock and started stroking himself, moaning while their movements became more and more desperate together as they both seemed to reach a crescendo. It was clear that Erwin was close from the way he was breathing and how he was all but jerking his hips, and Levi felt like he was as taut as a bowstring as a result, ready and willing and  _ hoping  _ that he would snap at any moment because he did not think that Erwin was going to last much longer anymore if he didn’t.

He was clenching around his cock too tightly for that, he thought, if the way Erwin was now murmuring Levi’s name in his ear over and over in a tone that sounded almost broken and raw said anything, but it was that which, in the end, made him come anyway, nearly sobbing in relief as pleasure flooded through him when Erwin's voice hitched and he thrusted up sharply all of a suddenly, the intense rush of it causing Levi to all but go limp in the face of that much oncoming bliss. Somehow, though, he still managed to hold onto Erwin through it all and jerk his hips up a few more times until he released too, a breathy sounding groan leaving his lips as he buried himself inside Levi completely and then abruptly stilled. He shuddered for a moment, Levi noticed, while he too trembled in the aftermath of his own orgasm, and periodically gasped for breath, and then slowly lowered his forehead down until the top of it was pressed up against Levi’s, the movement causing him to shift and open his eyes so that he could look up and meet Erwin’s gaze. 

“Levi.” He said then, another unsteady smile lighting up his face while he stared down at him and Levi panted too. “I—

“What?” He replied when Erwin paused, a brief flash of uncertainty crossing his features that made Levi draw his brows down. 

It disappeared, though, almost as quickly as it had sprung up in the first place, and changed into another earnest expression, this one causing Levi to swallow and tangle his fingers in Erwin’s hair while his heart fluttered hopefully in his chest. He wasn’t sure what it was for, he thought, but Erwin seemed to be thinking about what he wanted to say as if it was important, and luckily, before he had to wonder too long, Levi found out what it was just a few seconds later after Erwin smiled again and continued.

“I hope it’s not too soon.” He said, his mouth hanging open for air while he spoke. 

“Too soon for what?”

“To ask you….I mean, to tell you that I don’t want to see anyone else.” Erwin murmured, his eyes darting over Levi’s face as if he was already looking for any sign of discomfort from his words. “I only want to see  _ you _ , Levi. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. I know we’ve just gone out twice, but….well, I’m—

“Are you saying you want me to be your boyfriend?” Levi blurted then, taken aback, of course, but not so much so that he wasn’t immediately overcome with a sense of joy, one that he struggled to hold back for just a few moments until he waited for Erwin’s answer. 

Apparently, his question — or his bluntness, either one — was enough for Erwin to pause too, his eyes going wide for a second just before he nodded and then went completely still to wait for Levi's response. Luckily for him, he did not have to wait long before Levi answered him, though, nodding almost right away and speaking with as much certainty and happiness as he could muster. 

“Okay.” He said, having known right away that he already would like Erwin as his boyfriend too, watching with increasing delight as Erwin let out a laugh at hearing his response that sounded more like a gasp, enough relief rushing through him, apparently, to cause him to pull out, to roll off Levi too and all but collapse onto the bed suddenly like he was spent. 

Obviously it was from all the physical activity, Levi thought, but it suggested that he'd decided to ask him that before he’d even let himself relax after he’d come, the realization just making Levi feel warmer than he already did because of how important he must have considered the question. Feeling another swell of happiness, Levi rolled over too and slumped against Erwin’s chest, shifting so that he could lie half on his stomach and throw an arm over his bulk to get as close to him as possible. They remained like that for a few minutes until their breathing finally became even and slow again, and only then did Erwin move to kiss the top of Levi’s head and sigh in what seemed like contentment, the sound prompting him to stir too so that he could stretch. 

Erwin took the opportunity to roll onto his side a bit so that he could almost sneakily capture Levi’s mouth with his own, giving him a slow, gentle kiss that lasted far longer than he’d perhaps intended when Levi placed a hand on his jaw and then grabbed at his shoulder. Once they broke apart, though, it was obvious that Erwin was far from displeased by that fact as he continued to linger, his lips hovering near Levi’s so that they could share a few more light, quick kisses before he apparently couldn't hold back his smile anymore and then looked at him. 

“I’m glad things worked out.” He murmured, his fingers coming up to brush a few strands of hair out of Levi’s eyes. 

“Me too.” Levi responded immediately, flushing, but not feeling uncertain about his answer in the least. 

How could he, he thought, when he’d spent almost a month pining for Erwin and hurting on the inside because he’d thought he’d been used? Finding out that it had all been because of a stupid accident had been more than enough to make him happy, of course, after Erwin had shown him that it was, in fact,  _ not  _ too good to be true and then called him that morning, but ending up with Erwin as his boyfriend just made it all the more better — especially when he was already sure that he wanted that, when it signaled that not only did Erwin feel strongly about him too, but that his hopes of having Erwin in his future for certain were actually going to come true after all. 

“I promise I’ll never do anything like that again.” Erwin told him too, a playful glint appearing in his eye despite his words that let Levi know he was  _ thankfully _ not beating himself up over it anymore. 

“Yeah.” Levi said, responding with his own teasing tone. “I’m gonna tattoo my number on your ass to make sure you don’t.”

Right away, Erwin laughed heartily at that, a mirthful smile lighting up his face as he leaned over to give Levi another quick kiss. “You don’t have to. I know where you live now.”

“That’s true.”

“And I have your e-mail, and the name of the hospital you work in. I wrote it all down on paper and laminated it. Then I locked it into a fireproof box and hid the key in my freezer, as far away from any toilet as I could get it.”

Making a face, Levi stared at Erwin’s blank face for a second before he became certain that he wasn’t being serious, and then snorted, playfully shoving at him in a way that made Erwin chuckle and then trap him in his arms. 

“Really, though, I did write it down. And I stored it on my laptop. It won’t happen again.”

“I know.”

“Good.” 

Biting his lip, Levi took in Erwin’s smile and then relaxed against his chest again, not at all minding how their legs had gotten tangled together because of how warm and comfortable he was. His eyes were drooping a bit too, he thought, as if he was getting sleepy after what all they had done, and upon rolling over to check the time he realized that there was still a few hours left before he had to get ready for work and he didn’t  _ want  _ Erwin to leave. Perhaps they could take a nap together, he thought, since Erwin had said he wasn’t busy either? 

Proposing the idea — because it was the next best thing he could get right then to having Erwin stay the night and sleep beside him — Levi couldn’t bite back his smile when Erwin agreed right away, wasting no time in wrapping both his arms around Levi as if he was ready to go to sleep right then. Levi was too, of course, or at least he was ready to curl up against Erwin like that, but unfortunately for them both, he knew they needed to clean themselves up first. Letting himself lie there for a few more seconds like that at least, Levi then sighed and got up, heading towards the bathroom with Erwin hot on his heels so that he could dispose of his condom. 

Moments later, they were both free of any sticky messes or smears of lube, and back in bed, climbing onto the mattress together so that they could settle on their sides. Sliding behind Levi, Erwin pulled him close with his arms and held him tightly so that his back was pressed against Erwin’s chest, and had him feeling so comfortable and warm right away that Levi nearly started dozing almost as soon as Erwin pulled the bedding up to the both of their chins. Knowing that Erwin wasn’t about to go anywhere — at least for the next few hours — was nice too, of course, especially when he remembered that Erwin was his boyfriend now and wouldn’t disappear from his life again even when he did have to leave that afternoon. 

Lying there, Levi felt more happy and content and safe than he had in a long, long time while thinking about it, and even when he woke up later and had to say goodbye to Erwin so that he could go to work, he couldn’t be too sad when he already had plans to see him again the next day, knowing without a doubt that he didn’t have anything else to worry about.  

“I’ll call you later.” Erwin told him anyway, giving him one last kiss before he offered Levi a warm smile. “I promise.”

Biting his lip, Levi paused for a moment and then threw his arms around him, feeling another swell of warmth and happiness go through him before he finally replied: “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to everyone who read this fic <333 i enjoyed writing it and i'm glad that such a silly idea was actually liked so much :P

**Author's Note:**

> p.s. thank you to mary for the title


End file.
